Mah Tortured Little Simmies

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The Niji Legacy 2.1

Hi, pohtaytohs here!  Last update we got to meet the Nijis' absolutely retarded adorable founder, Kii Niji!  Kii was originally a Grilled Cheese sim, but he was so unenthusiastic about it that I cheated and turned him into a Pleasure sim.  He failed both of the times he searched for potential spouses, so I cheated AGAIN and aged down cute matchmaker Kathleen for him.  They fell in love and got married, so all that cheating was not for naught!  When we left off, Kii's feet were covered in afterbirth and Kathleen had just had the first child of the second generation, who you haven't gotten to meet yet...until now.

Meet baby boy Orenji Niji!  I've decided that the first born of every generation will have the Japanese word for their color as their name.  =]

...Say, where's Kii?

...Of course.  He's a sloppy sim and I still expected this.

Wait, Kathleen, don't put him on the floor!!!  D= 

...Like that's a good excuse.

Kii: Kathleen had a baby.

Yes, she did, and it's currently laying on the floor because you two refuse to pick it up!

Well, here's the makeover of the house to fit the orange generation.  I didn't have very many orange building tools, so it currently looks like shit.

But hey, at least they have a car now!

ALL BY YOURSELF?!  I guess I have hope for you as a parent after all!
Look who's back!  It's simmericangirl's Adora Rose!

Adora: Aww, I'm so flattered that you invited me back!  Especially after what...happened last time.

Kathleen: Look, as long as you don't try to murder my baby again, we're good.  Now, how about a hug?


Fuck, too late.

Adora: Uh, heh heh, Kath?  You're kinda, uh, choking me.  *wheeze*

Kathleen: Yeah, I know.  How 'bout that, huh?

*PALS*  Yay, you can get a promotion now, Kathleen!  ...Just let go of her throat before you have to find a new friend.

Proof that the first time wasn't a fluke, aha!

Kathleen: That...ASS!  THAT GLORIOUS ASS!

Oh, no.  Not you, too.

So, um...yeah.  This is a sim that one of my friends and I made because it cracked us up when we realized that some of my custom skins had pubes.  We purposely put him in the untucked jeans with a regular shirt for the sheer hilarity.

...Annnnnnd he's stealing the Nijis' paper for no particular reason.  Not that I really care; he's actually being kinda useful, disposing of their old papers for them.  =]

Except it would've been a little more useful if he'd done this before they had enough money to hire a maid.

Kii: Are you sure you wanna do this with me?  I mean, you never seem to enjoy it very much...

Kii, you fool!  Look at her face; she's rarin' to go!  Don't remind her of how bad you are in bed!

Sure enough, afterwards...

Kii: God, that was awesome.

Kathleen: ...Meh.

She didn't even get pregnant.  =[

What, no after-sex juggling this time, Kii?

Kii: Nope.  This time I'm makin' myself a grilled cheese sandwich.

...Why do you do this only after I change you to a Pleasure sim?

Kii: Just to piss you off.  >=]

One thing I didn't know about Kathleen: she's actually a pretty good mommy.  =D

Another thing: her Creativity is almost maxxed so she rocks at playing the bass!

Kathleen: There's a lot you don't know about me.

Yeah, I'm sure there's a lot the police don't know, either...

Kii, however, is...kinda sucky, honestly.

Kii: Hey, don't film me!  I'm still practicing!

Really?  It doesn't look like you are.

Kii: *sings*  I just played baaaaaaaaaass, and it felt so goooood!

You enjoy juggling WAAAAY too much, my friend.

Kii: Hey, you know what we should do?  We should totally ditch Orenji and catch a movie tonight!

Kathleen: lol we totally should!


Kathleen: Who are you to tell me what I should or shouldn't do?  *twitches*

Kii: This is ridiculous!  Why should I keep telling my wife dirty jokes like this?!

Because you keep rolling the want to...?

Aww, c'mon!  How are gold bars sexual at all?!

After that "dirty" joke, Kii rolled the want to have some good ol' car sex!  I figured, hey, might as well try for some more babies, right?  However, every time I tried to send Kathleen to the car, she kept bitching about how she couldn't leave Orenji at home alone.  It's not like I even tried to send them anywhere; she just REFUSED to sit in that car.  Personally, I bet she thinks she's too classy for car sex.

Kathleen: I am NOT leaving Orenji home alone, especially for something as trashy as fucking in a beat-up old car!

Kii: *waits patiently*  So, are Kathleen and I gonna woohoo soon?

Uh, about that...

Fine, Kathleen, we'll do it your way!  (By the way: they STILL didn't get pregnant!  GRAAAAHHHHH!)

Kii, why do you have to complain about everything?!  Seriously, this is the face he makes whenever I tell him to kiss his wife.  ...Or flirt with her.  ...Or slow dance with her.  The only time that he doesn't whine is when they have sex or hug.

Ooh, the cute man-maid's here, so Orenji technically won't be alone!  Let's squeeze in some quick car sex before he leaves!  C'mon, HURRY!

Kathleen: Nope.  Still not doing that in a car.

Can't you just be a team player for once?

I guess we'll do it your way again, Kathleen.

Kathleen: Ooh, can we get out the handcuffs and the whip then?!  >=D

Kii: Uh, what?

Yeah, Kii's having none of that.


Adora randomly came and rang on their doorbell for about an hour, so I figured it couldn't hurt to have her over.

That is, until THIS bitch just walked on in!  Uh, HEY, we didn't invite you!

Oh, she just wanted to take a piss.  I guess I can understand that.  We've all been there.


Lydia: It looks like some dog tore up your yard.  I'll just fill in the hole for you!

...On second thought, why don't you stay awhile?

Lydia: Ooh, are you and your husband gonna get INTIMATE?  LOL I'M SO CLEVER!

Kathleen: No, you're not!  And that's none of your goddamn business!  D=<

Kathleen: But if you must know, yes, we ARE!

Lydia: Ewwww, why would you TELL me that?!

Kathleen: Because you ASKED, you little brat!!!

Look, Kath, she's just trying to piss you off.  Just ignore her.  -_-  And why the cheerful face, Kii?

Kii: There's gonna be a catfight, isn't there?  =3

Nope, sorry.  Adults and teens can't fight each other.

How many pisses do you need to TAKE?!  Damn!

Lydia: No, you see, this one's a DUMP so I can clog that bitch's toilet!

I hate you.

Oh god, this cracked me up so much!  XD  The very SECOND Kii and Kathleen started heading towards the bed, Lydia said she had to go home and just got the hell out of there!  I have to admit, she's a pretty smart girl.

Why is this picture taken so oddly?  Because I was thinking about making it the teaser picture.  =p

Kii: Sweetie?  Are you okay?

Kathleen: I don't feel so good.

YES!!!!  FINALLY!!!!  The second baby of generation 2 is on its way!

Adora: *has emerged from playing the bass and being boring for 5 straight sim hours*  Ew, did they just do what I think they did?


I sent Kii to take a little after-sex bubble bath, and THIS is what I saw.

Adora: That glorious--

Don't even say it.

Dammit, Kii!  You and your glorious ass broke the tub!

Stupid-ass wolf: Hey, some idiot put a door here!  Now I can't run in and eat that delicious baby I smell!

That's kind of the point.

Aw, so close, Kii!  So close!

Kii: What, when a baby shits itself it doesn't mean that I should feed it more?

Hmm, the repairman I made Kath call to fix the tub is actually kinda good-looking.

Smexy Repairman: Who are YOU lookin' at?!


Jesus, everyone just likes to steal the Nijis' paper, don't they!  This time, instead of Pubey McPuberson, it's rikkulidea's Fran Laurince.  ...I wonder how she can even run in those heels.

Carl the man-maid: That ass!  That glorious ass!

Why does everyone keep saying that?!

Yay, Kathleen!  Your first promotion!

Kathleen: Don't talk to me.  I feel like shit.

Oh yeah, you're pregnant.  I keep forgetting; she didn't puke this time either.

That was quick!  At least, it seemed like it, because Orenji was a pretty good baby.  =]

OH MY GOD.  THIS is how far I can zoom in?!  The regular camera sure is a piece of shit...

There we go, that's a little better!  Orenji looks a LOT like his daddy.

I...couldn't find any orange pajamas.

Apparently I couldn't find any yellow clothes with a pregmorph that I liked, either.

YAY!!!  I love you, Kii!  You're the first sim I've ever had to do this autonomously!!  (By the way, how come everyone keeps going on and on about Kii's ass?  It's his pelvic lines that are glorious!  Mmm mmm!  <3)

...Why is your face like that when you're talking about rackets and balls?  Do I WANNA know?

Oh my god, Kathleen.  You look so high.  (Yeah, she needed another friend for a promotion.  Those glasses thingies are lifesavers!)

Isn't this, like, your second time talking to this person?  Don't scare her away, honey.  We need money!  T^T

So at this point I kinda realized that Kii is pretty much a ten-year-old in a grown man's body.

He's still grown-up enough to be a good daddy though.

However, somehow Kathleen beat him to being best friends with Orenji.  Oh well, I'm sure Kii will catch up!  (Oh, by the way, after this my pictures get less sucky because raemia helped me learn Cameraman Mode!  Yaaaaaaaaaaaaay!)

I totally flipped my shit when I saw Orenji strolling around the house until I remembered that Kathleen taught him how to walk.


Kathleen, why do you look so...happy while heading to bed?


No, she didn't decapitate him.  I just sort of wanted to give onilplayer a close-up of Kii's nipples.  ;]  ...Too bad I absolutely suck at close-ups.

See, I knew he would catch up!  He's such a good parent; he always changes Orenji whenever he's asked!

...Even if it lowers his aspiration score.

Kii: ...You awful woman.  What did you do to him?!

Oh yeah, I forgot that I want everyone to have the appropriate hair color of their generation.  Oh well, better late than never, right?  Anyway, just be used to Orenji having orange hair from now on.

Kii: Why did you think it'd be okay to dye a two-year-old's hair?!  Look at him!

Orenji: *is totally high on the fumes*


Eeeeheeehee!  XD  I can see Kii's feet for the first time!!!!  (I know, I know...I got too excited with cameraman mode.)

Time to leave your heavily pregnant wife and young son home alone so you can get some aspiration points, Kii!  Woo!

Kii: ...Where the hell did you send me?

Why, the public pool, of course!  =D

Kii: It sucks.

Shut up!  >=[

Oooh, hey!  It's the first sim I ever made when I reinstalled TS2 a few months ago, Lola Scott!  =D  What better way to repay her for all the hard work she's done than by having Kii prank the pants off her?  (Seriously, those are like half the wants Kii gets.)

Sadly, I think she sensed what I was up to and went straight into the ladies' room.

Kii: Well, that's just great.

Don't worry!  You can prank this chick instead!  =D  (We'd both feel a little less guilty about it, too, because she's not an old lady.)

Kii: Hello, miss, may I--

Sandy: Excuse me, I have to use the restroom.

Kii: Wait, no, but--

Fine.  I guess we'll just do Lola after all.

Kii: BAHAHAHAHAHA!  You should've seen the look on your face!  XD

Lola: *is completely stunned at Kii's douchebaggery*

Sandy: ...Retard.

Kii giggled even more when she started to cry.  Humiliating an old lady in public is just absolutely hilarious, I guess.

...But hey, at least she's happy she got to meet new people.  =]

Kii: Hey, wanna play catch with me?

Lola: Well, considering you just made me piss myself in public, I don't see why not!  =D


Just take this picture and multiply it by five billion.  That's how many times Kii dropped that ball like the lameass he is.

Lola: Screw this shit.  I'm goin' home.

Kii: Oh, okay!  We'll keep in touch, right?  ...Right? 

After Kii got home I sent Kathleen out.  ...Annnnnd she stayed in her pajamas.

Well, this is certainly gonna go well.

Kathleen: Eh, I can take her.  I was an old lady once too, you know!

I'm sure you can.  Mrs. Crumplebottom still scares me, though.

You know, her butt actually DOES look kind of crumply from this angle!

I sent Kathleen back home before a beatdown could occur.  The first thing I saw?  THIS bullshit.  Orenji's cute, but ever since I dyed his hair he's been a little brat.  Guess it was the chemicals...


Shut up, Mr. Know-It-All.  Where are you, anyway?

Oh.  Pfffffft....HAHAHAHA!  XD

Kii: Stop it.  =[  This helps me skill.

I can't help it!  You look so DUMB!

Wow, you know a mess must be bad if someone like Kii cleans it up.

Then again, who's surprised the mess got that bad with THIS little monster running around?


Dammit!  This just got fixed!  Who did it this time?!


Kathleen: Wasn't me.  I'm just taking a piss.

Don't try to deny it!  I SAW you leave the bathtub!

Kathleen: Oh crap...not THIS again!

What again?

Oh, right.  That.  Now where's Kii this time?

Well, at least he's not juggling.  C'mon, Kii.  Time to give your wife some moral support.

Kii: You can't make me.  >=]


Kii: Okay, so maybe you can, but you CAN'T make me open my eyes!

Honestly, I think you should just keep them closed for awhile.

Kath's really flipped her shit this time.

Yay, a girl this time!  =D  Her name is Sunset!  (Sunsets are orange, right?)

Kii: Kathleen, you had a baby.

Kathleen: ...

Kii: Huh.  Guess she didn't hear me.  *shouts*  KATHLEEN!  YOU HAD A BABY!

That's not helping.

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU--  This stupid house is falling apart!  Who clogged the toilet?!

Kii: Uhhh, wasn't me.  *hightails it outta there*


Wow, I'm an idiot.  I wanted Kii to do some skilling before he headed off to work, but I kinda forgot his aspiration bar was at the green level.  So yep, the thinking cap burned out, leaving Kii's energy bar at the very bottom.  -_-  I didn't want him to miss out on a day's pay, though, so I had to DUN DUN DUN--

--hire a NANNY!  X[  (By the way, Kii made all through work with an empty energy bar and when he got home, he didn't even pass out.  He just got in his bed and went to sleep.  ...That man never ceases to amaze me.)

She doing pretty well so far!  I'm impressed, since the last time I ever hired a nanny for any of my sims she set the house on fire.

Oops, never mind.  The second Sunset shit herself, the nanny just set her on the floor.

Sunset: *sigh* Seriously?

Wait for it...wait for it...

NOPE!  The nanny picked her right back up and changed her!  =D

And she changed Orenji!

And she played with Sunset!  Not even her parents do that!


And she cuddled Orenji!!!!  GYAAAAAH, this lady is my hero!!!!  >w<  <3

And she even pitched in and helped clean up the horrendous mess Orenji made.

...Even though she was cleaning nothing.

Carl the man-maid: Fine, bitch, just steal my thunder.

Aww, I still love you, Carl!  I'm sorry!

Well, you know what time it is!  =D

So yeah, Kii doesn't really know ANYONE, so he just invited Lola Scott and Suzie the waitress to Orenji's birthday party.  Lola didn't come, for obvious reasons, but I was surprised that Suzie actually came!

Oh, I also had Kii invite rikkulidea's Laci Tang-Deline in from off the street!  =D

Okay, this is the moment of truth, guys.  COMMENCE CHEERING!

Kathleen: WOO!  GO, SON!


Laci: Hell no, I'm not gonna cheer.  I don't know any of these people.

Fine.  Be a bitch.

Here's your last look at Orenji as a bratty cute toddler!

Yay!  He grew up well!

Kii and Kathleen: He did?!  YUSSSSSSSSSSS WE'RE GREAT PARENTS!!!!!

Of course I had to age Orenji up right as he was about to shit his diaper.  Too bad the Nijis only have one bathroom.

Laci: Sucks for you, kid.  I was here first.

Orenji: 8[

...Yeah, she's still a bitch.

Don't worry, Orenji finally got to go.  I know he's not wearing orange, but....these were the orangest pajamas I had without resorting to those awful Maxis jammies.  X[  And as I mentioned before, I know I suck at close-ups.  DX  I promise I'll start the next update off with an actual close-up of Orenji's makeover.  For now, though, I'm gonna end this update with him on the toilet, because I'm just too ~classy~.

See you guys next time!  =D  The next update might take a little bit longer for me to get out because next week I have finals, but we'll see!

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I know, right? XD Those undies are basically his everyday wear at this point. They're what he wears like two thirds of the time! (Although it sort of helps that I set them as both his undies AND as his pajamas...)

Orenji IS quite cute! =D (Even cuter than he was as a toddler, because now he's not a brat anymore!) He looks a lot like his daddy. =3 If he ends up being heir, I'll have to find some orange briefs so they can be matchers.

I like Orenji's glamor shot on the toilet. Fierce! ;D

It feels like Kii's little man-panties get smaller every update... every time I look at a picture of him I'm like, why are your clothes shrinking?!

Aww, I'm glad I could help! Camera question number two - do you use a camera mod? I use GunMod's so I can get awesome close-ups!

The way sim kids sit on the toilet and look up and smile at you just BEGS for glamour shots!

Haha, it seems that way to me too! XD Part of it might be that the back of the undies only cover, like, half his ass, so every time he turns around I'm like, "WHOA! Looks like someone needs new underwear, don't they?"

I don't at the moment. I've been a little reluctant to, because I'm afraid of backing up files. .___. I've looked at various ones, though, and this one you've linked to is the nicest I've seen so far, so I'll give it a try! (The crappy closeups in this update though were mostly due to me thinking, "Huh. That's close enough." and then it turning out that my judgement was waaaaaay off! XD) Thanks for helping out a camera n00b like me! =D

That's true, those undies do have a bit of half-butt going on, but those are the best because half-butt is hilarious!

Even if something were to happen to your backup camera text, Gunmod is awesome and put up a back-up file along with his mod to download. And it's no problem, I'm glad this stuff is useful! C:

Oh yeah, I was really happy when I noticed the back-up files on the download page! =D I downloaded those too just in case, because I completely suck with computers. XD By the way, I have one more camera question (I PROMISE, just one more): how do you, say, take pictures of the chance cards and stuff?

Are you using the in-game camera? Does it not allow you to take pictures when chance cards come up? I use fraps to take screenshots, so I'm not very familiar with the in-game camera.

Yeah, I'm just using the in-game camera. I can take pictures when chance cards come up and stuff, but the picture isn't of the chance card, just of the stuff behind the pop-up. I don't really care about that kinda stuff though, honestly; I was just wondering if my game was weird or something. XD

Ohhh! That's very interesting, I didn't know that it would do that!

Ok, I'm trying to do this in the correct order:

1) no wonder everybody's staring at Kii's ass, it IS pretty glorious after all. If I'd live in their neighbourhood I'd already have some severe restraining order for stalking (and very probably taking pictures, heheh...).

2) I loooove pubes on skin...nothing's better than some nice treasure trail on a hot sim :3 (if no. 1 didn't already proof that I should get some help this comment definitely did).

3) Kii's face at Kathleen's proposal for some woohoo is hilarious! But I like his concern about his wife's well-being. Very nice :) (And I giggled like a schoolgirl at that Awesome-Meh afterwards :roflol:)

4) Haha@Kii's whining about romantic interaction. I love they way sims trudge after that like they're being led to the scaffold...

5) INTERESTING man-maid you've got there. ...when I order his, eh...services...it's not stalking, right? =3

6) Kii: What, when a baby shits itself it doesn't mean that I should feed it more? - while this DOES have some logic in it I still HATE it that all my sims do with their babies on their own is taking them out of their crib and feeding them, even stand in line to do that, UGH!

7) I love love love the first picture of Kii with toddler!Orenji on his arms...Orenji looks so REAL in this! 8D

8) Oh, so THAT is what these glasses are for? I never knew and never used them...but now I will! Looks like little Benjen might get his LTW after all... *__*

9) So at this point I kinda realized that Kii is pretty much a ten-year-old in a grown man's body. - lololol (then again - aren't we all? ^^)

10) THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE CLOSE-UP!!! I literally squealed when I saw this. He's sooooo yummy! And all the important parts are in the picture ^^

11) OMFG, do you have the nice-feet-mesh??? *___* I've wanted it for ages but I'm so scared the polygons are going to blow up my game and my compter with it :(

12) Kii: Huh. Guess she didn't hear me. *shouts* KATHLEEN! YOU HAD A BABY! - totally cracked me up XD

13) Aaaw, you have to keep Laci around so she can be spouse for green generation :D

14) kid!Orenji looks pretty cute! Especially the way he's slumped on the toilet (I already showed I'm not quite right in the head so now I can speak out just as I want to - very free feeling :D)

1. Oh, I definitely would too. XD I mean, I watch him have sex with his wife and his kid going to the bathroom!

2. I like it too! >w< I'm always afraid to play with censors off with those sims, though, because I'm not sure if where their treasure trail leads is realistic or not. I'd feel really awkward if it was...

3. I was surprised about how...excited she looked! XD I'd think by now that she'd be scared to death of having sex with her husband, since she absolutely HATES being pregnant!

4. Haha, I still have no idea why he does that! I mean, he's got a hot wife, and he's a PLEASURE SIM for god's sake! Maybe it's because he's a really shy sim though. =3

5. Of course it's not stalking! If it was, I'd be arrested by now for following him with the camera every time he comes over! *drool* I'm still really surprised with how hot he turned out, though! He was actually spawned back before I had default face replacements, and I was thinking about killing him until I saw how sexy he looked with the makeover. Sooo glad I didn't!

6. Oh, I HATE when there's a huge crowd around the crib! DX I mean, it's nice that they're autonomously taking care of their babies and all, but they seriously need to let that baby sleep once in awhile!

7. He does look kind of real, doesn't he? That's the weird thing about Kii; half the time he looks totally cartoony, but the other half he almost looks like a real guy. o.o

8. Yup, they boost up relationship scores quite high quite quickly! I always use them when my sims need a promotion so they can earn money a whole lot faster. =] And yeah, they're soooooooooooo convenient for Romance sims! It makes having a bunch of lovers or WooHoo buddies incredibly easy without even having to get ACR! The ones in my game look a bit different, though, because I have default replacements for them.

9. Oh, definitely! I can't even begin to tell you how many cartoons I watch compared to "intellectual" shows! XD

10. Haha, no problem! I actually reeeeeaaaaalllly started liking his nipples after you pointed it out to me....that sounded really creepy, didn't it? XD

11. I'm not quite sure...I think that's just the way my defaults are, because Kathleen's feet are still like blocks of wood, and she has a custom skintone. I'm pretty sure that these are the defaults I use, and these are the custom versions, in case you ever wanna try them out! Hopefully your computer wouldn't explode though...

12. Haha, thanks! XD I still don't understand why sims shout that a baby has been born...wouldn't the mother have realized that by then?

13. Maybe! Although I've been thinking that I should get the pre-green generation heir abducted by aliens so the kids' skin can be green too! =D

14. Oh, I'm not quite right in the head just by TAKING the picture of him on the toilet! XD

Thank you so much for commenting! =3

Ooh! I love the new house! :) The nursery/cribs are my favorite.

That nanny's awesome. I love the Scottish/Plaid skirts the game gives them. XD

Thanks! =D

I know, right? She's the only nanny I've ever had who's actually done her job. XD And yeah, the NPC outfits in TS2 are pretty funny! The gardeners wear cowboy hats, and the maids...well, those are ridiculous in pretty much any Sim game, haha!

LOL. The most normal one I've seen in TS3 is the repairperson, but it's just a guy in a plain T Shirt and jeans. The worst is the bartender who always have implants that look fake. :P

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