Mah Tortured Little Simmies

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The Niji Legacy 2.5

Hi, pohtaytohs here!  Last time, I came back from giving Fanta a makeover to see Orenji and Chris the prostitute slapping each other around, officially plunging Fanta's birthday party into suckiness and Kii into depression.  To try to make things up to Fanta, I invited over Competent Nanny the next day so I could fulfill her want to make a friend.  Yup, turned out Competent Nanny hates children, so that completely backfired.  I saw Chris sneaking around in the front yard at about the same time, and to avoid her knocking over the trash can and bringing roaches into the house, I made Orenji invite her in.  That turned out to be a BIG mistake, because right after that they got into two brawls, both of which Orenji lost.  Not surprisingly, the two of them became enemies that day.  Brittany the creepy-ass bus driver returned, much to the happiness of Orenji, but she also took the opportunity to molest Sunset while she was back.  Fanta became friends with Sunset's friend, Audrey, making her the happiest little girl in the world.  Soon after, the last baby of the generation was born, a girl named Apricot.  So far she appeared to be non-cloney, much to the happiness of me and Kathleen.  Orenji had a quick reunion with the human Adonis before it was time for Sunset to become a teenager.  Much to my annoyance, she aged up into a Popularity sim with the EXACT SAME LTW as her older brother, officially stamping herself as a clone in my book.  When we left off, I had also aged up the family's friend Audrey to test out some....plans of mine.

Hmmm, you know what?  Maybe she doesn't look exactly like her brother after all.  I mean, you can definitely tell they're related and all, but there's just something....different about her, y'know?  Am I the only one who sees this?

So, how are the party guests doing?  Things should be going considerably better right now since I didn't invite Chris this time.

rikkulidea's Laci Tang-Deline: Tsk, typical.

Huh?  What's wrong?

Laci: This ass has been staring at my boobs the entire time!  >X[

Who, radiationpoison's Henry Blossom-Quagmeyer?  Nah, I think you're just overreacting...

Oops.  My bad.

Orenji decided to go and piss me off even more than he did last update by preparing a meal (with only ONE cooking point, may I remind you) for himself while there was a perfectly good birthday cake already sitting on the counter.  Ugh, maybe all this stupidness with help me with my obvious favoritism towards him.

Mwahahahaha, time to put my plan into action!


Sunset: I mean, she's alright, I guess, but....I mean, she's just my friend, that's all!  Besides, I'm not really into chicks.

Damn.  In case you were wondering, my "plan" was to set Sunset up with Audrey. Obviously that's not gonna work.

Orenji: Guys?  ...  GUYS?!  This is extremely urgent! 

Steffi: Hold up, everybody!  We've got some EXTREMELY urgent news!  Shut up so we can hear him!

Orenji: Thank you.

What is it?

Orenji: I can't find a place to put my spaghetti!  Now I just have to WASTE THE WHOLE THING and put it on this empty counter space over here.

-_-  As cute as you are, you're pushing your luck with me, kid.

Oh hoho, what's this?  Autonomous back rubs?  Maybe my plan will work out after all!

But when Sunset tries to return the favor...

Audrey: Eh heh heh....Uh, no, sorry.

Sunset: But how come you can give me one if I can't give you one back?

Audrey: It's the GERMS, you see.  So many GERMS.  GERMS!

Well, shit.  Looks like I've aged up a complete germaphobe.

Audrey: So, you see, no matter how many times I can touch you, you can NEVER touch me.  Understand?

Sunset: ...Okay.  =[

Why the happy face, Kii?

You're just as convincing as your son.

Well, that's attractive.

...You think he's ugly?

Oh, so backrubs are a no-no but pillow fights are perfectly fine?

Audrey: Yup.  Now you're starting to understand me.

No, actually, I'm really not.  .__.

Of course every time I have Kathleen throw the party things go well.

Well, time to look for some eligible manmeats for Sunset!

Kii: *snaps to attention*


Kii: Who's driving my car?  Kathleen's in bed, and I just saw Orenji go into the bathroom.  Who the hell is driving my car?!

Um, Sunset is?

Kii: She's fucking THIRTEEN!  Why did you think that would be okay?!

Calm down.  Things are different in the sim world, in case you hadn't noticed, Kii.

See, she got there in one piece!  And look, already she's chatting a cute guy up!

Hey, it's that same guy that Orenji didn't like!  =D  His name is Craig.  Maybe Sunset'll feel differently...?


Jeez, sorryI thought he looked fine.

simmericangirl's Judy Rose: DAMN!  Boy got SCHOOLED!

sounseelie's Anka November: Indeed.

Hey, one of Sunset's turn-ons in Vampirism.  I saw this guy in the first place I sent her to.  Hmmm, is this meant to be?  What do you think of him, Sunset?


No, not that guy.  And be quiet, he's right behind you!  You'll hurt his feelings!

Craig the cashier: Too late.  =[

Sunset: Oh, you mean that guy?  The vampire?


Sunset: Yeah!  I think I do like that guy!  He's MUCH better than that stupid-ass CRAIG!

Craig the cashier: Someday I'll show them... Someday I'll show them ALL!

As long as "showing" them doesn't involve a shotgun, go right ahead.

Count Jeff: Why hello there, pretty girl!  You're the first one to ever approach me by your own free will!  Are you sure you're not afraid?

Sunset: Of course!  I can tell that deep, deep down, you're actually a good guy!

Count Jeff: She's the first girl to ever understand me...

Sunset: Gyaaaaaaaa, he's just like Edward!!!!!!!!!

Uh oh.  I think I've got a Twilight fan on my hands.

Sunset: I, uh, like your...cape.  Teehee.

Count Jeff: Why, thank you!  It just came back from the cleaners!  I swear to god, it took them FOREVER to get all that blood out---

You may not want to tell that to someone who's trying to pick you up, Jeff.

Sunset's shy flirty face is still cute, but somehow it's not doing it for me like her brother's does.

Count Jeff: *quiet gasp*  I've never felt this way before....a human girl loves me for ME!

Good thing you can't read minds like certain vampires.

Sunset: *quiet gasp*  His skin is cold like Edward's...  *drools*

Because I'm not sure if you'd be terribly pleased with what this girl thinks.

Awww, how sweet!  He even followed her out to the car!

Count Jeff: Goodbye, my sweet Sunset!

Sunset: Goodbye, my sweet Ed---Jeff!

Sunset: Phew, that was a long night...


Stupid-ass Orenji used up the last of the food with his little spaghetti escapade last night.

Kathleen: Dammit.  Oh, wait, does this mean I get to call the delivery girl?!

*sigh*  Yes, I guess so....

Kathleen: Hey, yeah, could you send the cute one over?  No, not the redhead, the alien one!  No, not the illegal alien, the actual alien!  Damn, don't you people have brains?!

While I was waiting for the truck I decided to rid the Nijis of their fugly paperboy.

Jess the Fug: Oh nooooooooooooooo!  *jazz hands*

Grim: *sigh*  If you keep killing them on purpose like this I'm just gonna stop comin'.

Hey, my intentional killings are few and far between now that I've gone on multiple townie-killing sprees.  ...But you'll get a little more busy in about a week, when I finally get Bon Voyage.  Hey, somebody's gotta murder all those ugly tourists, amirite?

Grim: Ugh.

It's the cutest one again!!!!

Kathleen: OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWD!  She's here!  Can I go greet her?!

As long as you aren't as creepy this time.  I swear, it's like you've got a little crush on her or something...

Kathleen: Thanks for the foo---WHOA those are some knockers!  Man, you certainly have been blessed with a nice rack!  Bravo, girl!  Bravo!

Fanta: Mooooooooooooooooooom!  You're embarrassing me!

Even Cuter Delivery Girl: ....I really need to stop wearing a pushup to work.  -_-  You're the fifth person to ogle me today.

Well, as long as Kath's not the only one, I guess.

Orenji: Hey!  HEY!  How come no one's paid attention to ME this update?!

Because lately you've been kind of a jerk.  Also I'm trying my best to stop loving you the most.


Kii: It's hard to believe that this is our last one!

Yeah, I know, but just think: once she grows up, there is literally NOTHING to interrupt your sexy time with Kathleen!

Kii: Ooh!  I likey the sexy time!  =D

Sunset: Oh my god, Orenji!  I never knew high school was this hard!  How do you deal with it?

Orenji: I have no idea.  I'm a Knowledge sim and I still have no idea how to do this shit.  It only gets worse from here.

Fanta: Ugh, DAMMIT, you guys!  I'm in like the 3rd grade and I still can't do the crap they give us!  DX  It's too freakin' hard, I say!

Oh, yeah, because the nines times tables are just THAT hard.  Suck it up, you guys.  I can't have your parents help you because they're too busy with the newborn baby.

 Yup, like I said, busy.


Kii: I'm trying!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh, I finally remembered to get the right color for Sunset's desk locator!


...You're kind of a brat.  I'm just gonna check on your siblings.

Orenji: Please, dear sister!!!!  I haven't talked to a soul in days!!!!  I'm craving another human's touch!

Sunset: You need to back the fuck up!  I don't need your weird ass hanging on me!  Get off!


Sunset: Maybe because you're fucking needy and you go ballistic if people stop paying attention to you for one measly second!  >X[

Orenji: I just want to be loved, dammit!

In less...depressing news, look at this cutie Fanta brought home with her from school!  Her name is Genesis.

 Aww, they're buds already!  No cartwheels needed this time!

The main reason that Orenji's getting dangerously close to summoning the Social Bunny is that he's been painting nonstop so he can get the artsy-fartsy scholarship that he wants!  Say, uh, what happened to that painting there, Orenji? 

Orenji: Oh, um...

Orenji: ...my artistic desires changed halfway through.  Yeah, that's it!

Sunset: Psh, whatever.  You just messed up.  It looks like you took a big orange crap on that canvas.

As long as it fits the generation, right?

It's finally time to have our non-clone baby grow up!  *cue choir of angels*


...Except what's wrong with those teeth?  o.O

There we go!  She aged up into a decent hair, so I kept it.  I'm happy with her!  I can already tell the differences in her appearence, skintone aside.  Maybe we'll actually be able to do a second round of the Gene Guessing Game for once!

This concludes the portion of the update where I was restraining my natural urge to take five billion pictures of Orenji.

You know what, Orenji?  I'm bored.  Let's experiment, shall we?

Orenji: I'm game for anything that gets me back in the limelight.

Chris the prostitute: ...There's a dead baby in their front lawn.  These people sure are freaks.

Well, now, why oh why could I have invited Chris over?

Dead Baby in the Corner: I have an idea.

Keep it to yourself.  I'm trying to be ~suspenseful~ here.

Chris the prostitute: So?  Why'd you call me over here?

Orenji: I gotta admit, Chris...I sometimes fantasize about having babies with you, not with Adonis.


Really?  That's all it took?  Wow.

Chris the prostitute: You know, I guess I'm not completely adverse to having children with you. 

Chris the prostitute: I mean, you do have a pretty glorious ass.

Orenji: Yeah, that's right!

Orenji: And don't you ever forget it, BITCH!


Chris the prostitute: ...What just happened?

*sigh*  I have no idea, honestly.

Orenji: Did I do something wrong?

Um, yeah.  The whole reason I had you invite her over here was so you could make out up with her, dumbass.

Orenji: Ohhhh....

Orenji: Chris, I am soooo sorry!  It was just a force of habit, I swear!

Chris the prostitute: Psh, sure it was.

Orenji: Look, I'm really sorry for all the crap that's happened!  I didn't mean to do it!  Just between you and me....I'm a little stupid for a Knowledge sim.

Chris the prostitute: Hmmm.  Really.  I never would have guessed that.

Just humor him, Chris.  He doesn't think anybody else has ever noticed.

Chris the prostitute: Oh, alright.  I guess I forgive you....after all, I'm sure I was egging you on a bit, so I'm sorry too.  And I guess I won't charge you for that one time...

Orenji: Really?!  Phew, that's a weight off my shoulders!

Sunset: Hey, what's going on, you guys?

Chris the prostitute: Oh, your brother and I just made up.

Sunset: Wow, that's awesome!

Orenji: Yeah, it really is!  =D

Orenji: So, Chris, now that we don't hate each other anymore...

Orenji: ...how would you like to try things with the Orenji-meister?

Oh, good lord.

Sunset: Did that idiot really just---

Chris the prostitute: Yup, I think he just did.  =l

Sunset: *sigh*  WOW, Orenji.  Just...wow.

Orenji: ...What?

Orenji: D-did I do something wrong?  =[

I'd say so.  You guys literally just stopped hating each other's guts.  Why would you ever think that was okay?

Chris the prostitute: Nah, it's cool.  It's just...you're not really my type, Orenji.  I kinda have a thing for brunettes, actually.

Orenji: ...Oh.  How embarrassing!  I can't believe this happened in front of my SISTER!

Just shake it off and go play catch or something, babe.


 Orenji: Oh my god!  She always drops the ball too!  This is a sign!

Yeah, but every single time she threw it she'd chuck the ball as hard as she could at your head.  I'd say these are mixed signals, buddy, so you better take things more slowly from now on.
Well, right after that Chris left anyway, so Orenji didn't have the opportunity to screw things up again, thank god.

FINALLY!  It only took, what, five jillion promotions for Kii to finally get a special work outfit?

Kii's always the last one to leave the house on weekdays, so I usually have him call the nanny.  ...Why's she wandering outside, though?


And it's a thunderstorm outside, too!  Ugh.  DX

Uh oh.

Stray Cat: Well, what the hell is this shit?

Competent Nanny: Oh my goooood!  What do I dooooo?!  If she plays much longer in that puddle she'll diiiiiiieeeeee, and then I'll have another lawsuuuuuuuiiiiitttttt!  DX

Apricot: Whee, let's play in the place outside that conducts the most electricity in simland!

Don't worry, the one non-clone baby ended up being safe!  *cue choir of angels*  ...Wow, those angels have been quite busy today, haven't they?

Hmmm, what could this be for?  Just ignore the makeover chair in the background over there.  ...And my teaser.

Yeah, I got tired of seeing that ugly fluffy Maxis hair on her.  It wasn't doing her much justice.

Chris the prostitute: So are you sure you're good at makeup?

Orenji: Oh, sure!  I give makeovers all the time!

You little liar.

Orenji: Look, I promise this will turn out absolutely amaaaaaaazing, okay?


Orenji: ...Oh.

Chris the prostitute: Why did you stop?

Chris the prostitute: Aw, crap!  What did you do?!

Orenji: N-nothing!  I swear!

Chris the prostitute: Oh, really?  Gimme the mirror then.

Orenji: But---

Chris the prostitute: I SAID GIMME THE MIRROR!

Orenji: *pulls out mirror*

Chris the prostitute: *facepalm*  My pimp is gonna kill me...  *sigh*

Orenji: I can fix this!

Well, whaddya know.  He actually did.

Oh, yeah.  DEFINITELY much better.  Now you can actually tell that she has lips!  I feel like I didn't make her look prostitutey enough, though (or at all, really).  =/  Well, if she ever joins the family I'll fix it.

No more time for Orenji and Chris to socialize though.  Sunset's asleep and the house has gone to crap ever since he walked out the front door.  -_-

Yaaaaaay, a responsible adult's finally home!  And this is around her 39476593759th promotion, so...

...she finally got the reward!!!!  =D  ...It's pretty much ignored by the family, though, because they'd much rather play with the "fun" rewards like the pinball machine.  (Not that I mind; that one makes us money.)

Despite Chris' past bitchiness to Orenji, she's actually always really nice to his little sisters.  =3  Maybe she'd make a good mommy...? 

Because seriously, ever since I made Orenji apologize to her they've autonomously been getting along really well.  Maybe someday they'll get along REALLY well.  ;D

Yup, I got bored again.  The kids never roll wants to have their own romantic endeavors, so I always have to do all the work.

Are you really that surprised that this is who she invited over?

Sunset: Is that a vampire banana in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?

Count Jeff: We vampires don't even eat bananas.

Sunset: I see.  ;]

That was quick....for him anyway.  Looks like we've got a pedophile vampire like Edward on our hands.

Sunset: OMG I just got my first kiss....with a VAMPIRE!

Uh, sure you did, honey....air kisses don't really count.

Well, he promptly ran away after that so he wouldn't burn to death.  At least Sunset picked a vampire with smarts, I guess.

Fanta: *buuuuuuuuuuuurp*  And that concludes my closing statement, hur hur hur.

Well, at least somebody's using it.

Kii: ...Hey, where'd she go?  Apricot was just here a second ago.

Uh oh.  My one non-clone baby better NOT be the thing to break my game!

Fanta invited Genesis over.  Coincidentally, it's almost her birthday.

What, you'd think I'd try another one of my plans with a girl who is totally nice and cute and makes faces like this?  Why, you must be mistaken.  >=]

Because they're totally not like an old married couple already or anything.

Speaking of potential married couples...

Orenji: Y'know, Chris, I've really enjoyed the time I've shared with you now that we don't completely hate each other anymore!

Chris: Aww, that's so sweet!  That really means a lot to me!  I've enjoyed our time together too, Orenji.

Chris: Wait a minute.  Does this mean we're friends now?  8O

*checks Orenji's relationship panel*  Huh.  I guess it does.  That was easier than I thought it would be.

Another overhead counter shot?  You know what THAT means!!!  It's Fanta's birthday!


You mean the back of your husband's head...?

Kathleen: No, all this.  >X[

Oh.  Yeah, I decided this would be a family party this time around.  With the exceptions of Genesis and Chris, of course.

Kathleen: I hate it.

What, do you want me to risk having another crappy party that catapults your husband to the brink of suicide?

Kathleen: I guess not...

I thought so.

Fanta: Huh, I suddenly have the burning desire to....make love to a grilled cheese sandwich...?

Oh geez.  Looks like somebody decided to take after what their father used to be by rolling Grilled Cheese for their aspiration.  Let's see how this goes.  XD

Here's her appropriately crazy Grilled Cheese makeover, and here are her stats:

Grilled Cheese
Eat 200 Grilled Cheese Sandwiches
3 Neat
2 Outgoing
10 Active
10 Playful
7 Nice

Yup, it's the exact same personality as her older siblings', but at least her LTW is different!

Well, I'll see you guys next time!  But before I go...

...here's my apology for onilplayer because I've forgotten to include nipple shots for the past two updates!  Look at the little cheetah baby, then into your heart!  Pwease pwease pweeeeeeeaaaaase forgive me?  =3

Haha, see you guys next time!  XD

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Let's just hope she never cries out the name "Edward" in bed.

I know, right?! His face just oozes pure SEXINESS, doesn't it? XD

Thanks! I was actually debating just keeping the messed-up makeover, but I felt kinda bad for her, and honestly I just really wanted to get her out of that icky Maxis hair! ;]

Woah, I'm sooo happy I checked your lj before going to work cause that last picture definitely made my day!!!! Screw the cheetah (am I the only one who thinks it looks none too happy about being in *that* place?), that guy is so hot I don't even remember what there is to forgive! I mean ZOMG, look at those lips!!1one (and that lickable nipple, woah) And it's orange, too :D

I guess Sunset's looking a little different cuz she's a girl. I noticed turing a guy in a gal can look pretty different (not that I tried that on my favourite little manly man sim, no no *whistles innocently* ^///^)

Orenji is still my favourite. Even his evident shows of stupidness cute clumsiness just make him even more adorable (well, I don't have to bear with this while playing, I only look at the cute pictures ^^). On the Orenji-meister picture he reminds me sooooo much of the Sherminator in American Pie lol

But well, I have to say after her make-over Chris looks a LOT like Craig the cashier. I like the idea of them being siblings trying hard to support the family - each their own way ^^ (or is Craigs cashier-job just a cover-up for his *real* job? I do have a thing for hustlers. And his "Someday I'll show them all"-thing is very familiar to me...I seem to think like that a lot *heum*

Oh noooo, Sunset's a Twilight-fan? Ugh, I would have trusted her to have more taste -.- But choosing somebody for reminding her of some fictional charcter could just be me, haha. (yeah, I'm that shallow)

Apricot turned out promising, I'm excited :D

Grilled Cheese as first aspiration comes with which EP? I can only have it as secondary aspiration in my game :( And it doesn't show up in the panel, too. Only Pleasure (greyed out cuz I lack the right EP)

I want Orenji as heir with Chris as his wife. A hooker mummy would be hilarious! *rofl*

Thanks again for the georgous picture!! *hugs*

Yay, I'm glad! =D Yeah, that cheetah looks like it's being introduced to entirely...ahem...NEW things there. >.> Whoa, I didn't even notice how orange that looked! I just picked the first picture I saw that wasn't exposing...bits. SOMEHOW some innappropriate things came up upon Googling "sexy man nipples", although I have NO idea why. XD

Yeah, that's probably true. I've noticed that when people make both a male and a female version of their founders down at pixel_trade, they always look a little bit different even though they technically have the same physical traits. Oooh, I should try that out on Orenji!!!

I've actually never seen that movie, but I read the synopsis and wooooooow, that would totally be Orenji! XD They even both have orange hair...

Oh hohohoho, it seems that my neighborhood has more than one prostitute on the loose! XD Actually, though, I kind of make up little stories like that with the NPCs in my neighborhood, too. I used to have this one townie whose name was Connor Hanby. Carl the manmaid's last name is Hanby, so I was all, "Whoa! Carl must just be working so he can put his kid brother through school!"

Haha, I thought she'd have better taste too like her older brother. But she hasn't swooned over any old men yet, sadly. =[

I'm excited too! She looks soooo much different from her siblings as a kid!

It actually has never come as a selectable main aspiration, but I think it originally came as a bad side-effect for some aspiration award in Nightlife. You can make it be someone's main aspiration, though, through Boolprop's sim modder. Just right-click on a sim, then go spawn-->sim modder. Then click on the sim modder (aka dead baby) and go to "aspiration" or something like that. The option *should* be there to change a sim's aspiration.

I....honestly do too. >.< I tried so hard not to be biased this update and just...failed. Like, REALLY failed.

Awww, no prob! (>^.^)> *hug*

Aw, now I have to go google "sexy man nipples"! ;p

Yeeeah, this is one of the reasons why I love Sims...making up such stories is so much fun! X3

LOL. I can't even BEGIN to tell you how much I like Count Jeff. He sounds exactly like some thirty-five-year-old goofus just threw on a cape and pretended to be a vampire in order to get a girlfriend. Sunset must feel so lucky that she got the Edward of her dreams. :9

Apricot is so adorable! I hope she grows up in time for the heir poll. Fanta's hair looks great (she's slowly growing on me!).

This update totally cemented Orenji and Chris for me. I love their temperamental prostitute maybe-love. ♥

Bahaha, that's exactly what he is! XD That actually reminds me of a song that some guy did awhile back (that I can't find for the life of me ugh), in which he said he wanted to cash in on the vampire thing by being pasty and handsome...but he only ended up being able to do the pasty thing.

I'm soooo glad she's not a clone! I'm reeeeaaaalllly cutting down on pictures next update so I'm pretty sure she'll be all grown-up by then. =] Thanks! I thought curly hair kinda suited her YUMYUMYUM I LOVE ME SOME GRILLED CHEESE personality! XD

Me too! I feel really bad already deciding who I like the best so early on....but....I can't help it! Not with awesome spouse options like Chris and the human Adonis (which is probably never gonna happen anyway)!

YAY Chris the Prostitute is BACK! :D

And was that an elderly alien lady I spied in one of the Sunset and Count Jeff (His name strikes FEAR into the hearts of no one!) date pics? Because she looked pretty kickass. XD

Awwyeah! ;D She definitely started growing on me after awhile, and I couldn't just leave her and Orenji mad at each other!

Hmmm, let's see...oh! I actually think that's rikkulidea's Gemeni Laurince! She DOES look pretty badass though, doesn't she? >=D

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