Log in

No account? Create an account

Mah Tortured Little Simmies

watch them burn

Previous Entry Share Next Entry
The Niji Legacy 2.4

Hi, pohtaytohs here!  Last update, Orenji became a potential slut by finding almost all the girls around him attractive.  He had two blind dates that failed (one of which resulting in the date's death, the other resulting in the date being aged down but having no chemistry), but the third worked out because I had him ask for a dude, even though he had already informed me angrily that he was straight.  As soon as that date was over, I spotted a HUMAN ADONIS at the same community lot, and had Orenji chat him up.  It turned out Orenji was interested in men after all, but only if they were old and sporting ponytails.  Another one of Orenji's romantic interests, Brittany the pedophile bus driver, was MIA for most of the update.  Kii and Kathleen went on their first date out of the home, during which Kathleen found out that Chris the prostitute was actually a prostitute (gasp) and the last baby (or babies) of the generation was conceived.  (In the car, too, so Kii finally got what he had been dying for.)  Back at home, that stupid-ass tub broke for the last time because I finally gave in and replaced it with a better one.  Of course, right after this happened the sink broke.  Sunset made a friend, and Orenji got turned down by the gorgeous Shenene who had tagged along.  Fanta had a birthday party, during which Chris the prostitute demanded Orenji for money that he actually didn't even owe her.  When we left off, Fanta had just aged up into a cute (if not cloney) kid, and Shenene had decided it would be a good idea to sleep in Kii and Kathleen's bed(?).

See what I mean?  She's cute, but there's still no need to even play the Gene Guessing Game because she looks almost exactly like her siblings.  ...And in case you're wondering, yes, she's wearing orange eyeshadow.  Shut up, it defines her eyes better; aka, I'm not above slopping makeup on kids.

Well, her birthday party's still going on, so let's see what happened while I was giving Fanta here a makeover.

Kii decided to sleep in her bed because of the fact that Shenene had occupied his, which I didn't even know visitors could do.  I'm trying to decide if he did that just because he was a good husband...

...or because maybe he just wasn't totally on board with sleeping next to someone who was radiating stink, no matter how gorgeous that someone was.

Orenji: I HATE THIS FUCKING PARTY.  >X[  *cracks knuckles*

Um, what happened?

Uh, Chris?

Chris the prostitute: WAAAAAAAAH, I'M TELLING MY PIMP!!!!!!  ToT


Kathleen: Ugh.  Some days I just wish I could skip town and come back when everything was normal again...  -_-"

You're not the only one.

Well, Orenji, since you obviously can't handle being around other people, you get to have your own tiny room in the corner of the house.  Congratulations.

Chris the prostitute: Waaaaaahhhh, I hate it!

Who asked you?

Orenji: Yeah, who asked you?!  *slaps*


Orenji: Ha, how do you like that, bitch?!  That'll teach you to keep your mouth shut from now on, among other things...

Chris the prostitute: *dazed*  Did he just say that?

I still can't believe it, but...yes.

Chris the prostitute: HOW DARE YOU TALK TO ME LIKE THAT!!!!!  *backhands*  Does that hurt, asshole?  Yeah, that's because my pimp taught me how to backhand!  Only in da hood we call this PIMP-SLAPPING!

Chris the prostitute: *sniffle*  I just want my money...

Orenji: Well, you're not gettin' it, bitch.  I don't owe you anything.

Orenji, you're the one with seven Nice points.  Why aren't you crying?

Orenji: Eh, I've come to realize that the tears of prostitutes make me stronger.


Kathleen's friend Steffi: Now, little, girl, you always need to make sure to protect your precious flower, because once it's gone, you can never get it back!

Sunset: Um...

Just back away slowly, dear.  She's just reflecting on her own life.

Who's surprised Fanta's birthday party sucked?

Kii: *sob*  I can't go on!  *impales self on door*

*sigh*  Guess who I let throw the party, you guys.  >.<

Oh, looks like Shenene woke up.  It turns out that not only does she like to sleep in strangers' beds, but she also likes to sleep in strangers' beds in her UNDERWEAR.  Stay classy, honey.

Shenene: Um, is he okay?

Kathleen: Yeah, seriously, baby, you think you're gonna be okay?

What do you think?

You're so full of shit, Orenji.  You made your dad (aka your BEST FRIEND) have an emotional breakdown, and you just stand there playing video games like you don't even care!

Orenji: I did all that?  Oh, crap, I feel bad...

Well, you should.

After all, he's probably not gonna get over this for awhile.

 Dead Baby in the Corner: Whatcha doin' there?

Kii: Starting a garden.

Dead Baby in the Corner: Uh huh...Lemme know when you're doing something interesting, mmkay?

Hey, don't knock the garden!  This is sort of like therapy for him.  =]  (Also, the human Adonis may or may not be a Garden Club member...)

Kii: Phew.  I think I'm finally over the fact that I'm an awful father and let my daughter have a horrible birthday party.

Well, I'm glad the therapy worked.  Maybe Orenji needs some too for his....hatred issues.

Fanta had the want to make a friend, and I figured there's no one better to be friends with than the lady that made your toddler years bearable, right?  As you can tell, this is going extremely well.

Competent Nanny: I HATE CHILDREN. 

As long as you remain competent, I won't question the fact as to why you became a nanny in the first place.

Fanta: Oh, hey, don't you go to my brother's school?

Chris the prostitute: Uh...  *sneaks away*

Hey, what the hell are you doing here?
Chris the prostitute: Nothing...

I was afraid that she was gonna knock over the trash can and bring TEH BLACK PLAGUE to the Niji household, so I just invited her in.  I knew from the start that I was gonna regret it.

Orenji: Oh, it's you.

Chris the prostitute: Yeah.  You planning on giving me my money anytime soon, cheapass?

Orenji: I'll see you in hell before I ever pay you, you SHREW!

This can only result in good things.

Orenji: Hey, guys, this is cute and all, but the phone's kind of ringing.  It's probably Adonis calling for me.  So, uh....yeah, it's kinda important and stuff.

Kii and Sunset: *still dancing*

Orenji: Guys, MOVE!

Yeah, Chris turned Orenji into kind of an ass.  ...I still <3 him, though.

Orenji: Oh, it's just you.

Orlando: Wow, you sure know how to flatter a man.  >=[

Even though Orenji has been inflicted with Pure Rudeness, Orlando still invited him on an outing.

Orenji had barely accepted the invitation when THIS happened.  Crap.

Hey, wait a minute, what's that I see through the dust?  OH MY GOD, SUNSET, GET OUT OF THERE!

Orenji: I got you, slut!  *punches wall*  Uh, I don't got you...

Sunset: Whee, I sure love playing with toy cars!  =D

Because that's safe.

Orenji: Now I got you!

Uh, guys?  What the hell happened to Sunset?

Oh.  Thank god.

Chris the prostitute: UGH!  YOU JUST GRABBED MY BOOB, YOU PERV!

Orenji: Hey, it's not like I meant to!  Besides, aren't you used to men doing that to you all the time, anyway?

Chris the prostitute: WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?!

Oh boy...

Let's check on Fanta and Competent Nanny, shall we?

Fanta: ...And that's my best cartwheel!  =D

Competent Nanny: Boo!  D=<

So much love in this house.

Aw, great.  Now we gotta pay the hospital to reattach his legs.  Thanks a lot, Chris.

Chris the prostitute: Hey, he should've known not to mess with a hooker.  We have thighs OF STEEL.

Well, also you're probably possessed by Satan.

That was quick.


Looks like Satan's helping out someone else too, isn't he?

Hey, what do you think you're doing?!

Chris the prostitute: I'm just sittin' in this chair.  Damn, look at who's overreacting.

Oh.  ...Close your legs.

Back to the sad situation outside...

Competent Nanny: You know what, kid?  I don't like you.  Just stand in the corner until I leave.

Fanta: *sigh*  Yes, ma'am.

You're lucky you're competent, because otherwise I would Die By Flies your ass.

Kii: Awww, Orenji's making friends!  =D

...Why's everything so dusty?


Kathleen: Kii!  Why would you think this meant our son was making friends?!

Kii: My son's so popular...

Well, they do say ignorance is bliss.

No more fights this update, I promise!  Let's see who Orlando brought along with him on the outing!

Just one person, but it's this lovely specimen, Tammy!  =]

Of course you do.

Mrs. Crumplebottom: Either get married or go home, you deviants!

Mrs. Crumplebottom: Ugh, young love makes me sick...and it irritates my bowels.

Ooh, hey, I guess the feeling's mutual!

Tammy: You know, I used to weigh 500 pounds before I went on Jenny Craig!  =D  Did Orlando ever tell you that?

Orenji: Eh heh heh....uh, no...  You're not a pig anymore, though, right?

Tammy: Oh, heavens, no!

Orenji: Good.  =]  I'm not really into fat chicks.


I feel kind of bad for Orlando.  They've ignored him ever since they got there.

Orlando: Hi, Orenji!  It's me, Orlando, the one who invited you on this very outing!  =D

Orenji: Oh!  Hey there!

I guess I didn't need to feel bad, though.  Orlando can obviously take care of himself.

Tammy's patient; she can wait her turn.  ;]

You know, not many can be a total dork and still look as adorable as her.  Orenji's one of those few.

I can just imagine these three all being best friends together.  =3

Although Tammy's cute and nice and all, she has blonde hair, and even though I dye the kids' hair we still need some genetic diversity in this legacy.  So yeah, we probably won't be seeing much of Tammy after this.

The outing ended up having a pretty good score, so Orenji and I were both fairly happy when I sent him back home.  I was even happier when I learned that Competent Nanny is still competent even when she's off duty.  =]

Chris the prostitute: UGH, WHY ARE YOU SITTING HERE, BRAT?

Orenji: Hey, don't blame me.  Mom made me.

Kathleen: Look, I don't know what happened between you two, but you guys need to patch things up.  We cannot have another brawl in this home like the one we had today.  If I see any more violence involving either of you, I'm calling the cops.  Understood?


But as soon as she left...

Chris the prostitute: *whispers* You know that Adonis guy I've seen you hanging around with?  Yeah, he's one of my regular customers.

Orenji: Shut up.  We both know that's not true.

Chris the prostitute: Oh, and he's a pedophile.

Orenji: No he's not!  He's the man I'm going to ~marry~!

Chris the prostitute: Well, if he rapes you, don't come crying to me.

Orenji: Don't come crying to me if you get an STD, then.

Chris the prostitute: Oh, fuck you.

Kathleen: I have ears like a hawk!  I can hear what's going on over there!  You two better be nice!

Chris and Orenji: Okay....

Kathleen has pretty much everyone who steps foot into this house whipped.  Except for Lydia, of course, which is why she hates her so much.


Hey, look who's back!  It's Audrey and Shenene!  =D

Kii: Hey, how come she gets to play pinball while I have to play stupid-ass chess?  >X[

Because you need a promotion, and I don't really care about her LTW at the moment.

I think the next morning made everything with Chris seem all better to Orenji.

Orenji: *quiet gasp*  Brittany, you've come back to me.

Brittany the creepy-ass bus driver: Yes.

Orenji: I missed you a lot.  I thought you'd never come back.

Brittany the creepy-ass bus driver: I know.  I'm sorry, I was a fool...

Orenji: Oh, Brittany, you could never be a fool in my eyes.

Brittany and Orenji: *reaches for the other's hand*

Hey, cut the crap, you guys.  There are two more kids that need to get on this bus, you know.

You think Carl's hot?  This is the first I've ever heard of it.  Probably because of the pregnancy hormones, I assume.  After all, ever since she and Kii got married, this is the first time that either one of them has swooned over someone else.

Can't say I blame her, though.

Sunset: My no-no place hurts...

Brittany the creepy-ass bus driver: Teehee, don't worry, that'll feel good in time!

OH MY GOD, BRITTANY.  How have you not been fired yet?!

Oh, and Fanta brought home Sunset's friend Audrey from school.  Awkward...

Huh, I could've sworn that I've seen this book somewhere in real life.  I don't remember what the title is, though, so I can't look it up.

Audrey: Wow, Fanta!  That was a great cartwheel!  =D

Fanta: R-really?  You like my cartwheels?

Audrey: Yeah, of course I do!

I think this is the happiest moment of her life.

Audrey: Let's be friends!

Fanta: O_O  *goes platinum*

Nope, this is the happiest moment of her life.

Kii got another promotion...

So I got the family a new car!  =D  Now, you may be wondering how this is orange.  Well...


Yes!  It's time, it's time!  This is your last birth EVER, Kathleen!

Kathleen: Wait a minute.  You remembered to roll the dice, right?

Yep.  No clone babies this time!  =D

Oh my god, it already has a different skintone than the rest of the children!  This is a good sign.  *cue choir of angels*

Looks like Orenji has all sisters!  Meet Apricot Niji, the last baby of the generation!  =]

Aww, why so sad, Kathleen?

Kathleen: No one came this time to watch me give birth.  =[

Apricot: Don't be sad, Mommy!  *pats face*

Kathleen: *melts*

I think Orenji might have a contender for the heir throne!

Kii: Hey, whatcha doin'?

Kathleen: Just havin' myself some eternal youth.

Kii: Ooh, really?  I want some!  Give me some!!!!

Damn, Kii, just wait your turn.  And use your inside voice, for god's sake.

Kathleen: Oh, wow!  This is even better than car sex!

Kii: Oooooh, really?  Now I definitely want some!

Kii: Yup, yup.  That is definitely better than car sex.  *revels in the ~sensation~*

As boring as Sunset is, she's still quite a bit like her father.

And in more ways than one.

Kii: Heyyyyy, Kath!  Wanna handshake?  =D

Kathleen: *suspicious*  What are you planning?

Kii: Nothing, nothing, I promise!

Kathleen: Hmmm.

Don't do it, Kath.

Annnnnnnd you did it.  Awesome.

Sunset: BAHAHAHAHA!  Mom, I can't believe you fell for that!!!  XD

Me neither.

This here is the look of PURE JOY.  This look is never seen when someone falls in love, gets married, or has their first child or grandchild.  Nope, it only exists when someone electrically shocks their wife who just gave birth a day ago.  Great job, Maxis.

Kii: *gigglegigglegiggle*

Kathleen: That's not funny, Kii.  That really hurt.

Kii: Okay, I'm sorry.  Forgive me?

Kathleen: Yeah, alright.  Let's shake and make up!

Kii: Yay!  =D

Oh, wow.

Kathleen: Ha!  Got you!

Sunset: GYAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!  Dad, how could you fall for that?!  XD  That's even worse!

You're having a lot of fun with this, aren't you?

Kathleen's look of pure joy?  Yeah, not as cute as Kii's was.  .__.

Orenji: *averts his gaze* Oh god.  Could I just, like, skip school or something today? 

Why?  Oh, is Goat Man back?

Orenji: ...No.

Then what---

Oh my god.  OH MY GOD.  ...How can I even caption this?  I just--- I don't even know.

Kii: Okay, the rest of my kids are at school now, so the only one you'll have to look after is Apricot.  Just---please don't become a better parental figure to her than me, alright?

Competant Nanny: Sir, in all due respect, you'd have to pay me a shitload of money to get me to ever do something like that.  I hate children.

Kii: Oh.  Good.

Kii looks happy drivin' his sweet new ride!  ;D

Yaaaaay!  I was brave enough to actually try a chance card for once, and I didn't fail!  Congrats on your promotion, Kath!

Kathleen: Oh, it's not that big a deal...  *hides pleasure*

Hey, don't be humble!  FLAUNT your job status!


Orenji: Because I'm adorable?  ;D


Because you brought home sea_serpent's Lickitung Scallywag from school!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  <3  <3  <3  <3

Looks like you got over your fear, huh?  ;] 

It's times like these that I wish this was a pixel_trade</lj>legacy.

Hey, you know who we haven't seen for awhile?


Orenji: Oh, Adonis! Hold me tight in your arms and never let go!

Human Adonis: Of course, my sugar plum.  What the hell did he just call me? 

Orenji: Why won't you ever let me kiss him?

It's not that I won't let you; it's that the option is never available even though your relationship score is high enough.  I guess even InTeen has its limits. 

Orenji: Hey, since we can't kiss and all, can you make me a Garden Club member?  =D

Human Adonis: Hmmmm, well...

Human Adonis: Considering your garden appears to have only been watered once in its lifetime and it's overrun with weeds, I'd say...no.

Damn.  I don't think I'm gonna try to make the garden better, though.  It's too much hassle and the sims never wanna do it.  It's kinda like a real garden.

Oooh, it's finally time for Sunset's birthday!  So who's showing up to the party?

Wow.  This is a Niji family record, as well as a pixel_trade</lj>party!  =D  There's simmericangirl's Adora Rose, rikkulidea's Laci Tang-Deline, and radiationpoison's Henry Blossom-Quagmeyer!

Steffi: What about me?

Oh yeah, and Kathleen's friend Steffi, to whom I say "meh".

Oh, and I invited Audrey over, too, because I had some...plans.

Steffi: My, my!  That kid's got a glorious ass!

Kii: Thanks.  He got it from me.  =D

Sunset: Can you guys hurry up, please?

Aw, cut them some slack, Sunset.  It's a bigger crowd than usual.

Everyone: WOO!  GO SUNSET!

Sunset: Huh...?  Why's everyone cheering?

Sunset: Ohhhhh, I get it now!

Quite intelligent, this one.  -_-

Now to execute my plan!  Mwahahahahaha!

Audrey: Mr. Niji!  ...  Mr. Niji...?  I feel weird!

Kii: Hmm.  That's nice.

Audrey: WHOA!!!!!  Mr. Niji, LOOK!  I'm all grown-up!  =D

Kii: Huh.  Cool.

She turned out pretty cute!  She's got quite a schnozz on her, though.

Sunset turned out pretty, too, but she looks exactly like her brother, so what else was to be expected?  I admit, though, she does have a few differences: for example, her upper lip is fuller than Orenji's.  Annnnnd that's about it, because look at the stats:

Reach Top of Journalism Career
3 Neat
2 Outgoing
10 Active
10 Playful
7 Nice
Vampirism, Custom Hair/ Stink

Yup, their personalitites are exactly the same.  And their LTWs, even though they have different aspirations.  UGH.  >.<   Sunset better do something to make me adore her, otherwise she's probably out of the heir race.  =/

Well, I'll see you guys next time!  =D

  • 1
Either Orenji's having some serious hormone issues, or he REALLY needs to get laid. XD
Shame he slapped one of the few people who could've helped with that.

Also, HA's eyes scare me a little. :P

Yeah, I actually thought that things were going WELL between them... T^T *sigh* Well, maybe after all the FURY wears off they can manage to have a positive interaction or two.

They scare me a little too! My default for light blue is really really REALLY BRIGHT light blue, so it looks a little menacing on some people. XD

gasp ORENJI!!! D8 So mean! He was such a sweet little thing like his dad, and then... what happened?! Maybe his braces are making him evil? I can't explain it!

Team Chris! Wooo! I hope they kiss and make up, though. ):

Audrey: Let's be friends!
Fanta: O_O *goes platinum*
Nope, this is the happiest moment of her life.

D'awww, this was so cute! Fanta has a real friend! :D Oooh, and I'm excited to see what Apricot will look like when she grows up. Adios, clone babies!

I know! I panned the camera back from Fanta's makeover when I started playing last time and I saw his face and just went, "WTF?" Then I saw that "Slap" was in his queue and I couldn't believe it. I have a feeling that his mommy's 4 nice points are coming into play here, sadly. -_-

Me too, I really like her. I was hoping that if Orenji was ever heir and if I ever married him to Human Adonis, then Chris could be his second spouse after HA died or something. They had to go and wreck it all, though. >.<

I was so excited when Audrey became friends with both Niji girls! That's sort of why I aged her up, as a thank-you. I thought Fanta had been scarred for life at this point because of the bitchtastic Competent Nanny. X[

I have a feeling that his mommy's 4 nice points are coming into play here, sadly.

Uh oh... I love mean children though, so this sounds exciting haha! I like the HA/Chris marriage plan if Orenji gets chosen for heir, sounds like the best of both worlds! When is the heir poll going to be? When Apricot becomes a teen, maybe?

Haha, the mean nice-sim thing really makes things interesting when I'm playing! The fights that he had with Chris were actually the first that ever happened in my game (that weren't forced by me). I guess I don't have to complain anymore about my sims being too nice to each other! XD

Yeah, I'd say probably right after that, when I send all the kids to college. I wanna try and play Apricot as a teen for a bit before that happens, but there's such a huge age difference between her and everybody else that I'm not sure if I'll get to or not, because I don't wanna drag the generation out too long. Hopefully she'll get her time to ~shine~ so everything will be fair when it's time for the heir poll.

(Deleted comment)
Lol thanks! XD He kept slapping her, and every time he'd just stand there afterwards while she sobbed. He SHOULD'VE been crying, but I guess he's not as big of a pansy as his dad.

I actually like her a bit better too now that I've played her a little bit as a teenager. =D I'm glad that next update I won't be quite as Orenji-biased. I'm also glad that she didn't end up dying in that brawl... >.

(Deleted comment)
Thanks! =D

I <3 him too, so I'm afraid I'm unfairly biased towards the other children. >.< But then again, I'm sure everyone's had a generation like that before, so I guess I'm not alone in that area.

Aaaw, I love how ex-matchmaker Kathleen tries to mend things between Orenji and his hooker friends.

> Kii: Thanks. He got it from me. =D

This cracked me up so hard :rofl:

...considering the parts the snickered at the most during this update I seem to be quite the pedobear -///-

I can't wait to see Apricot as a kid. I hope you update soon! :D (she need to be really amazing though to make me skip my love toward the idea of Orenji being heir...)

Haha, thanks! XD I try to mention the Niji men's glorious asses at least once in every update. ...Watch me forget the very next time. =p

Nah, you're not a pedobear! I'M the one who's made it a tradition with this family to take pictures of the children on the toilet. XD

Me neither! I'm really excited to see how her features will turn out, because she's a toddler right now and already she looks a lot different than the rest of the kids did when she was their age. I should probably have the update out by tomorrow, since I already have all the pictures taken and half of the thing captioned. Let's hope I don't get distracted! XD

Yeah, even though Apricot is the genetically diverse child, I still play things as if Orenji's 100% gonna be heir. >.< I have no idea why I'm so biased towards him...I don't think it's because he's the only boy or because he was the firstborn.

Speaking of every update - where's my nipple picture? ó__ò With half-naked Lickitung laying the groundwork, too. :p

Hm, perhaps it's because the two following him suffer from firstborn-syndrome they didn't get that much attention from the start thus seeming less interesting...

Aw, shucks! ....I think I forgot about next update too...XD lol oops. I'll make it up to ya!

That might be it. He was by himself for quite awhile, since his parents refused to get pregnant for me after he was born, so I guess I was focused on him from the beginning.

  • 1