Orenji

Mah Tortured Little Simmies

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The Niji Legacy 3.2
Orenji
pohtaytohs

 

Why are there so many cuts?  Who knows.  Just pick the one that suits you.

 

Hi, pohtaytohs here!  Last time (which was waaaaaayyyyyy too long ago), Chris gave birth to the firstborns of generation 3, Akai and Scarlet, while everyone else was at work, lucky her!  The Niji house got a HUGE makeover, which set into motion the long process of the houses I make becoming less shitty.  Due to the arrivals of his first grandchildren, Kii realized that he didn't have much time left before becoming an elder and became obsessed with feeling young.  He managed to accomplish this for a short time through public indecency, which of course made Mrs. Crumplebottom VERY pleased indeed.  Before too long Kii, Akai, and Scarlet's birthdays rolled around and a craptastic party was held, thanks to Prof. Brenda and her usual antics.  Scarlet aged into a cute toddler with a big chin, while Akai looked kind of funky.  Kii, against his wishes, finally aged into an elder...and a very handsome one at that, not that he looked much different from his adult self.  To celebrate the growth of his children, I suggested that Orenji go out to a nightclub...that served alcohol...all by himself.  ...That's not shady at all, is it?  Too bad Orenji didn't think so, because I got him drunk and into the photobooth with the human Adonis, whom he had once been smitten with as a teenager.  Of course, the whole time Orenji had thought that he had been sleeping with his wife, and he didn't remember anything that had happened once he got home, so no harm done, right?  ...Except that he was pregnant with the human Adonis' child, but whatever.  Speaking of which, Adonis finally revealed his true name to actually be...............Joe!  Yeah, not what I was expecting either.  Chris learned that her husband was pregnant once he began to show, but since she had no idea about the accidental affair with Joe, she reluctantly accepted it, although she was a bit disturbed by it.  Soon Kathleen had her birthday, and aged up into a totally adorable elder, which surprised absolutely no one.  Brittany dropped by the next day with the athletic career carpool to show off her new "friends".  They were deformed children with no legs.  Somehow I wasn't that shocked.  Finally, the twins' birthday rolled around again, and they had another party which Prof. Brenda crashed.  Akai went from awkward to totally cute, and Scarlet went from totally cute to COMPLETELY ADORABLE!  Soon after, Orenji went into labor, which everyone except angel Scarlet ignored, seeing as Akai had inherited his grandfather's squeamishness about birth, and Chris and Kathleen were having some bonding time outside in their new hot spring.  Orenji gave birth to twin boys!  The older one was named Brick, and the younger (more genetically pleasing) one was named Strawberry!  For some reason, Orenji was convinced that Strawberry was just a placenta and not his son...hey, just because he's a Knowledge sim doesn't mean that he's very bright.  When we last left off, Chris and Orenji were trying for another kid while Kii was creeping on them!  =D 


Chris: ...Kii?

Kii: Hmm?  Oh, hi there, Chris.  How's it going?

Chris: ...Kii.  >=[

Kii: What?  What's wrong?

Chris: Kii, you know what you did!  Why the hell were you staring at me and your son?!

Kii: What's wrong with staring at my own son?  I was just thinking of how cute you look together.

Chris: ...We were making love, you creep!

Kii: ...Oh.  OH.  So that's why you guys were making such weird noises.

Chris: ...You mean you didn't know?!

Ah, so that's why!  Senility!  I guess poor old Kii's head just isn't what it used to be, not that it was ever much in the first place.


Orenji: But Daddy, you're only fifty-four.  And yesterday you were helping Akai with his long division.

Hey, yeah!  Wait a minute...


Chris: Kii, did you just lie to me?!

Kii: ...Uh, me no speak good English.

Dude, that's not fooling anybody.

Chris: *sigh*  Okay, I'll let you off with a warning... this time.  If I ever catch you in our room again I swear to god I'll cut your balls off.

Awww, she let him off with a warning!  She's really softened up since she joined the family.

Kii: Sweet, I'm getting another grandchild!

Okay, you know that that proves you're a voyeur, right?


Orenji: Teehee, my family's so silly.  =3

Well, that's not quite the word I would use, but okay.


Akai: Hey, Grandpa, I was just wondering if you could help me with my homework agai---

Kii: Okay, mission accomplished!  I've got Orenji's secret sex moves!  Now let's do this!

GOOD LORD THIS FAMILY IS DISGUSTING

Kathleen: What the hell?!  I never asked you to do that!  And our grandson is right there, for Christ's sake!

Kii: ...Oh.

Akai: D8


Kii: You know what?  I don't care!  I want my tickle time, and I want it now!

Kathleen: ...You might want to leave, sweetie.

Akai: And I'll get some therapy while I'm at it.  DX


But Ki''s creep marathon didn't end there, ohhhh no!  His first autonomous Freetime action?  Why, watching the movie with the little kids dressed as fairies in his underwear, of course!

Kii: Not for long.  ;]

UGH!


Chris: You know, Orenji, based on your dad's behavior today, I think it's about time that we put him in a home.

Orenji: Don't worry!  He's already in a home, with us!  =D

Chris: ...That's not quite what I meant.

And this, everybody, is this legacy's first Knowledge sim.  Just thought I'd remind you of that.


Rod Humble: Ugh, this family is disgusting!  I mean, just look at all this trash laying around!  Who does that?!

Hey, if you think they're disgusting now, you should see what goes on behind closed doors.


~fifteen minutes later~

Chris: No, Orenji.  For the last time, a "home" is---

Orenji: *blank stare*

Chris: *sigh*  Never mind.  C'mere, you!

Isn't it so sweet that they're still having such a happy marriage?

Chris: ...Hold that thought.

Huh?


Chris: BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH

Yay, the last child of generation 3 is on its way!  =D


Who doesn't like a little face-sucking right after puking your guts out?


Hey, Carl.  Sorry that you're gonna have to be cleaning toilets like this for awhile.

Carl the manmaid: Eh, it's my job.

~the non-bitchiest NPC ever~


Fine, Brenda, just soak in their hot spring without asking.  We'll make sure to sanitize it later.

Prof. Brenda: Yay, everyone wins!


Chris: *hurk*

Carl the manmaid: Mrs. Niji?  Are you alright?

Chris: *hurk*  I'm sorry, Carl.  I know you just cleaned this toilet, but... *hurk*

Carl the manmaid: Say no more.

See?  <3


Chris: BLAAAAAAAAAAARG---

Carl the manmaid: Now lemme just get that puddle over there...  *impales with Swiffer or whatever the hell that thing is*

*gasp*  Carl!  Has somebody been holding in their feelings for too long?

Chris: *gag*

Carl the manmaid: Shh.  No one can hear your screams anymore, Mrs. Niji.  Just quietly succumb to the cold throes of death.

Orenji, get in here!  D8


Oh, hey, Scarlet!  How was your first day of school?

Scarlet: Well, it was---the bus ride certainly wasn't scarring, that's for sure!  8D

...If Brittany's behing you monitoring your every word, say "cream cheese".

Scarlet: Cream cheese.

...Shit.

Brittany: Have a wonderful day, everyone!  And tomorrow I won't forget my candy in that windowless old tool shed, I promise!  Teehee!


And who's this cutie, you ask?  Why, that's their cousin Alice, who actually managed to survive past toddlerhood, good for her!

...Hey, wait a second!  Where's Akai?

Brittany: Oh, he's, um, in detention right now.  He won't be back for a couple of days...or months. 

What?!

Brittany: Well, time to go overseas!  Goodbye, everyone!  *muffled screams*

Give him back!!!


Kii: You know what?!  I'm tired of you always being here!  You're here when I wake up, and you're still here when I go to bed!  Just LEAVE!  And never come back!


Prof Brenda: Okay!  =D  Absense does make the heart grow fonder, after all!  I'll see you tomorrow, my turtle dove!

Kii: DID YOU EVEN LISTEN TO WHAT I JUST SAID?!

And that concludes the "oh my god everyone in my game is a freak" portion of the update.  Now onto the Freetime spam!


Orenji: Wow, I am lovin' nature!  This is some great stuff!  *OTH Nature*

Really?  What are you reading, anyway?

Orenji: A book on how to clean bathroom stalls.

...

Orenji: Because when nature calls, people use them!

Please never try to make a joke ever again.



Akai: When I grow up, I wanna be just like them!  *OTH Music and Dance*

You wanna be a hula dancer?  I suppose I'd get a kick out of you wearing a coconut bra.


Kathleen: *takes bite of two-week-old omelette*  Man do I love food!  Seriously, I love it!  *OTH Cuisine*  ...Wait, is that mold?  Oh well.  *munch*


Kii: Oh my god, I just realized!  I LOVE unclogging poopy toilets!  Not only do I love it, but I think this could be a lifelong passion of mine!  Wow!  *OTH Tinkering*


Why are you guys sprinting to the bus?  You're not gonna be late or anything.

Scarlet: We just noticed that Brittany isn't driving us today!  Don't you dare take this away from us!

Akai: I'm so happy I think I'm gonna cry!  *sniffle*


Oh, you probably haven't seen the babies in awhile, have you?  Well, let me assure you, they're not dead.

Orenji: Wow, I never knew a placenta could eat so much!  But I guess you learn something new every day, amirite?

Strawberry: *sigh*


With her OTH being Cuisine, it's no surprise that Kathleen's put on a little weight.  But hey, she's working it, so who cares?


Akai: Dude, I know I've thanked you 47 times in the past ten minutes, but... you are my hero!  Not only did you refrain from giving us drugged candy, but you kept your hands on the wheel the whole time!  Occupied hands mean they can't molest me, after all!  Seriously, man, you have changed my life!  I will never take bus drivers for granted again, I swear!  In fact, you totally deserve to be Bus Driver of the Year!  No, of the century!  No, of all time!  That's how much I owe you, bro.  I promise that---

Not-Brittany: Kid, go home.  I'm just a sub.

Akai: ...Oh.  Um, bye then.


Oh, so that's why the kids got lucky today!

Chris: *pop*  Uh oh...

Brittany: You slept with my precious Orenji?!  I'll kill you!

Chris: Well, at least I won't have to ride this thing for awhile...

Yup!  Isn't maternity leave awesome?


While it's cute that Orenji keeps bringing Sunset home, I'm scared to death that one of these days she's gonna die on me.  >=[  ...And stop creeping, Brenda.


Wow, it's the babies' birthday already!


Looks like we're gonna have a full house tonight!  We've got Fanta, Genesis, Apricot, Jack, Alice, and Sunset (once again sans hubby Jeff)!  But wait, who's that behind the handsome man in uniform?


IT'S PETER!!!!!!  He's Apricot's kid who I thought looked kind of awkward, remember?  Well, that must've just been because of the bowl cut, because look at him!  Pure awesomeness!  I bet I'll have a huge simcrush on him when he's older!  ;]  But he's actually tied for my favorite of the cousins.  The other victor is...


Jennifer!!!!  Gyahhhhh, she's so cute, especially with those brown eyes of hers!


Kath?  You okay there?  It's just that you've been staring into space for five minutes...

Kathleen: Hmm?  Oh, I'm okay.  I just kind of feel like I'm being violated for some reason...

Well, everything seems to be fine.  I'm sure it's just in your head.

Orenji: Ahem!

Huh?


Oh, right.  That's Cory, Chris' coworker.  The whole time he's been over he's been letting everyone know that Kathleen does it for him.  Like really does it for him.


Orenji: Could you at least try to keep it in your pants?  There are children here!

Cory: Sorry, bro.  I'm trying...


Cory: ...but it's just too hard.

HAHAHA THAT WAS SO PUNNY


Well, anyway, here's toddler Brick...


...and toddler Strawberry!


Wow, Brick doesn't look like a Niji at all!  o.o  Seriously, he doesn't have the Niji eyes, nose, or lips!


Strawberry, on the other hand, totally has the Niji nose going on.


UGH, NO!  This is not acceptable, Kii!

Kii: Hey, that's not fair!  Kathleen's gotten chunky, and so has Apricot here!  Why can't I have love handles?

Because those aren't love handles; that's a fucking BEER GUT!  As soon as the party's over you're getting rid of that ASAP! 

Kii: Aww...


Chris: Well, that party sucked.

Sorry.  Blame Kii's beer belly.


Prof. Brenda: Ha!  And it's not even my fault this time!

Yeah, surprisingly.  But still, why are you here? 

Prof. Brenda: Oh, I always take my nightly stroll here at 3 am.  At two I say goodnight to all my students in their dorms.  They never really seem to appreciate the guesture, though.  They're always saying stuff like, "Put your pants back on!"

...Go away.


Chris: So, any reason as to why you're making a complete ass out of yourself?

Kii: Yeah, it's because she's making me get back in shape!  Apparently she doesn't love me for who I really am!  *sob*

Yup, you got that right.  Now do some pushups.


Out of everyone's in the family, Chris' OTH is the one that makes the most sense.  Hers is Music and Dance.


Kii: Awwyeah, my glorious ass has been restored to its former perfection!  Sure, the 'roids may have shrunk my balls to the size of baby grapes, but it was still worth it! 

Kathleen: ..I think we need to get your head checked.

Kii: No, it's just my balls that shrunk!  My main guy is fine!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA EVEN PUNNIER


Aww, Chris is such a great stepmom!  She treats the boys just like they're her own!  (lol she's so stupid she doesn't even realize that her husband slept with another man)

Chris: What's that?

Nothing.  O_O


Oh, look, another cousin!  This is Jasper, Alice's brother.


Akai: Mommy mommy mommy, look!  I got an A+!

Chris: Wow, awesome!  Great job, hon---

Mysterious voice: RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH

Strawberry: What the hell was that?


Oh, it's just Jasper.  He's just pissed that he grew up badly.  Listen, buddy, it's impossible to keep ALL SEVEN TODDLERS in a household happy, alright?!  Oh, and great job with waiting to throw a tantrum until you got to Uncle Orenji's house.  I'm sure that'll make him love you.


See?

Orenji: If any of my kids ever act like that, remind me to strangle them.

Now, Orenji, strangling is wrong.  ...It might kill the future heir.


Chris: Great job, Brick!  You're so good at walking now!  Now make sure to stay out of the toilet, 'kay?


With the lifesaver known as the craft table, that is now no problem at all!  =D


Jack: Oh dear lord that stomach looks like it's about to explode

Cory: Oh dear lord those tits look like they're about to explode

Chris: ...Why are you guys staring at me?

Maybe it was a mistake to invite Cory over.  But hey, he brought Jack with him, so I suppose that's a plus.


Yup, definitely a mistake to invite him over.  And Jack's looooong gone.

Chris: OWWWWWWWW!  I think I'm in labor!

Cory and mkhione's Proton Pasteur: OH MY GOD WE SHOULD HAVE NEVER COME INTO THIS HOUSE

Hey, if you walk into a Niji's home you should be prepared for the worst.

Kathleen: Brick, can you say "crowning"?  'Cause that's what your little sibling's doing right now!

Chris: A little help here, Kath?

Kathleen: Not if you're gonna be rude about it.

Strawberry: Screw this, I'm goin' to my room...


It's a girl!  Now, thanks to onilplayer, I was SO SO SO tempted to name the next baby Placenta.  And I was totally planning to...until it was born.  And then I felt kind of bad.


So welcome to the world, Maroon!  She's got her mommy's hair and her daddy's eyes and skintone.  I'm kind of sad that Chris' S3 skin never came into play, but hey, at least we've got Strawberry.


Cory: Say, are you planning on nursing her for awhile?

Chris: Um, no, why?

Cory: Oh, no reason.  Guess I better stare at these luscious funbags for as long as I can before they shrink back to normal size.

Chris: ...My eyes are up here, asshat.


Oh my goodness, another cousin!  This is Edward Jacob, who I caked in makeup because I can.


Oh, look, a tender family moment...

Akai: Daddy, I missed you so much!

Orenji: Aww, I missed you too, s---

*KATHUNK*

Well, that certainly didn't sound good.  Better go investigate.


Um, wow.  Why?

Scarlet: I got an A+.

I see that.  Still doesn't explain why this happened.

Scarlet: Well, I got a little too excited and sort of forgot to open the door.

Uh huh...  Do you need me to call for help?  -_-

Scarlet: That would probably be best.


Good lord, yet another fucking cousin.  She's the last one in this update, I promise.  Anyway, this is Renesmee.  Don't let that big grin fool you; normally she's even bitchier than Jasper.  In fact, I think this is the first time I've ever seen her smile.


Meanwhile, back in the house...

Chris: Yesssss, he's finally dead!

Proton: Wait a minute, he's just sleeping!  Quick, scarf down the rest of your food before he can stare at our boobs again!


Akai: OMG, I loooove fireflies!

Aww, I hope he always stays this cute.  <3


Orenji: Air kisses!  *mwah mwah*

Chris: ...Orenji, have you brushed your teeth yet today?  =/

Orenji: Nope!  ^_^

I hope these two always stay this cute, too.  They probably will unless Brenda pulls something again.


Wow, that sure was fast.  It's already Maroon's birthday!


Here's toddler Maroon, who is already earning brownie points by aging up into red clothes!  =D  But wait, there's more!  Call in the next 27 minutes and you will receive---


Uh, I mean, look!  Kid Brick!


And Strawberry too, of course!  Now for some ~MAKEOVERSSSS~


Yeah, I know that hair isn't flattering on her at all, but I was pretty frustrated by the time I managed to get her to the mirror, seeing as how everybody kept picking her up to give her baths and shit.


I'm so glad Freetime adds so many more clothing choices for kids!  =D  But forget that; it's time for another round of the Gene Guessing Game!


Okay, so Strawberry obviously has all Adonis' coloring except for his eyes, which are Kathleen's.  His lips are Adonis', but his nose and chin are 100% Niji.  His eyeshape, though, is a cross between the two as far as I can tell.  Overall, I'd say he's a pretty good mix of his parents!  =]


Now for Brick, who totally looks like a flower child right now.  XD


The coloring is all Niji, but everything else is Adonis.  Unlike his brother, he's not such a great mix.  He's still pretty damn cute, though.


Hey, when you're a pro athlete you've gotta have something high quality, right?  I don't even care that in everyone else's games they're evil.  If it gets these lazies working out, then so be it!


Akai: *pats head*  Good doggie!

Maroon: Ruff!

...If she grows up thinking she's a dog, I'm blaming you, Akai.


Ooh, my first Freetime NPC!  Sure, he's ugly as fuck, but still!  My first Freetime NPC!

Fugly Gamer: Sir, we've noticed that you've got some very impressive high scores on our games, and we would like to invite you to---

Kii: Can't talk.  I'm in some serious shit right now.  I'm down to only like 30 lives.

Somehow I have a feeling that if you have 30 lives, whatever you're involved in doesn't exactly qualify as "serious shit".


Fugly Gamer: But sir---

Kii: GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME.


On a slightly less crazy note, this is the face of a man who has just maxxed out his charisma.  Hell, I believe it.  That face got Chris to marry him, after all.


Why, what's this?  Well, all the kids had been bugging me to let them go fishing for awhile now, so I decided to send them on a little trip to the park with their grandpa, who I somehow managed to pry off the computer!  Doesn't this sound fun, you guys?

Strawberry: I CALL FRONT SEAT!

Scarlet: Hey, I'm the girl here!  I should be getting the front seat!

Strawberry: Tough luck, sista!  I was here first!

Scarlet: Grandpaaaaaa, Placenta's being mean!

Strawberry: My name's not Placenta, you jerk!

Scarlet: Grandpaaaa, Placenta called me a jerk!

Strawberry: Shaddup, ya tattletale! 

Akai: Hey, Gramps, is it okay if I wear my pajamas to the park?  I just love these things!

Brick: You know, Grandpa, you should trade this old truck in for something that's more environmentally friendly.  Blah blah blah hippie blah blah blah solar powered blah blah...

Scarlet: Grandpaaaaaa, Placenta told me to shut up, and he called me a tattletale!  Tell him that's not true!

Akai: Like that's gonna happen.  Seriously, though, can I wear my pjs there?  They're just so comfy!

Scarlet: Grandpaaaaaaaaa, Akai's trying to wear his jammies to the park!  Tell him that's not okay!  ...Grandpaaaaaaaaa, are you even listening to me?!

Brick: Blah blah blah and you can recycle the old tires!


Kii: ...I need a drink.


Me too, because by the time they got there, Brick was the only one who still wanted to fish, meaning that the whole trip was a waste!  DX

Brick: Well, it's not for me.  There's no better sense of peace and tranquility than that of fishing.  Of course, I'm going to let all my fish go in the end, because I'm a vegetarian.

Of course you are.


Kii: Well, you know what they say!  When things start sucking, just set 'em on fire!

Who has ever said that?


Kii: Mmmm, toasty.

KII!  BACK AWAY FROM THE FLAMES!  FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, KII, BACK AWAY FROM THE FLAMES!


Kii: Well, guess I better rinse off my burns with cold water in the men's room---oh!  Hi!  It's been a long time, hasn't it?

Alice the matchmaker: Yes, it certainly has...so did your daughter ever drink that vampire antidote?

Kii: Yeah.  She got turned into one agian, though, because she married the guy.  So she's probably one for forever this time.

Alice the matchmaker: Oh.  I see.

Kii: Yup...

Alice the matchmaker: So, did your son ever marry that date of his?

Kii: Hmm, I'm not sure.  Who was it?

Alice the matchmaker: Oh gosh, I have no idea.  I'm terrible with names.  Let's see, he had short black hair and wore a turtleneck...oh, that's right!  It was Orlando!

Kii: Oh.  Nah, he married Chris instead.  Y'know, the one who was a teenage prostitute?

Alice the matchmaker: Ah, yes, I remember her!  She's a nice girl, that Chris!

Kii: ...Really?

Alice the matchmaker: No, not at all.  Actually, she's a real bitch.

Kii: Oh.

Alice the matchmaker: Yup.

Kii: ...

Alice the matchmaker: ...

Kii: Wait, was my son gay?

Alice the matchmaker: No, it appeared to me to be more of an experimentation phase.  Although they did ask me for contraceptives one time...

Kii: O_O

Awkward...let me spare you the pain of the rest of this conversation and check on the kids.


Scarlet: Heyyyyy, Brick!  We saw that you were fishing all alone over here and you looked kind of sad, so we decided to join you!

Brick: No, I'm actually fi---

Strawberry: Don't be silly!  Everything's better with company!

Brick: *sigh*  Okay, I guess...

~five minutes later~

Strawberry: When I get a girlfriend I'm gonna give her makeup for her birthday, so she can look pretty for me all the time!

Scarlet: ...Seriously?  If you act like that you're gonna die alone, you know.

Strawberry: Nuh uh!

Scarlet: Yuh huh!  I'm a girl, I know this stuff!  What you should do is give her fancy jewelry.  Spending a lot of money on somebody means that you care about them!

Strawberry: ...That's stupid.

Scarlet: You're stupid!

...How's it going, Brick?  -_-

Brick: Well, I was definitely a lot better before they showed up...


Wow, look who caught a fish on her first try!

Scarlet: Sorry, fish, but it was either you or me.  And I'm not some wuss vegetarian like Brick, so I'm going with me.

...Wasn't she nice last update?  Oh wait, she's a preteen now.  Figures.


Scarlet: You know, Strawberry, if you don't hurry up and catch a fish soon, we're all gonna leave without you, and then you'll be at the mercy of any random bus driver who decides to show up!  You don't want that to happen, do you?

Strawberry: Quit it!  I'm not leaving this spot until I catch a fish!

Scarlet: Suit yourself.  I've heard some rumors that people have seen Brittany wandering around at Auntie Sunset's house, though...


Brick: Maybe he'll be quieter...  Ooh, I love chess!  Can I play too?

Akai: Sure, I guess so...  If you don't mind, though, could you hold off on talking a bunch?  That makes it kind of hard to concentrate.  =/

Brick: ...I think we'll get along juuuuuuust fine.


Well, Kii was about to pass out so they had to leave soon after that brotherly bonding time.  And poor Strawberry never caught that fish.  =[


Oh, look!  It's Leo, a sim I made!  Hey, Leo, wanna meet the Nijis?

Leo: O_O  *runs for his life*

So that's a no then?


Kii: Holy crap, this thing is like a bouncehouse!  Awesome!

Kathleen: Except that it's gonna break if you keep jumping on it like that.  And yet Chris keeps asking me where Orenji gets his ADD from...


Speaking of Orenji, I told you that the exercise bike was a good idea!  His fittness meter was just about to hit the fat range, so it looks like we've avoided a crisis here!


Orenji's stomach: *PLOP*

Wait, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!  That's not how it's supposed to work!  DX


Strawberry: LOL, Dad, what happened to you?!  XD  Mom is gonna be sooooooooo pissed!

Orenji: I know, right?  XD  Heck, she might even throw me out of the house!  Who knows what a professional athlete like her might do?

 Orenji, that makes no sense.

Orenji: Well, in the meantime, I'll just hide it with a girdle, so let's keep this between you and me, bud.


Aww, I've missed this!  <3

Kii: Hey, guess what I just did!  Go ahead, guess!

Hmmm, considering that this is your trademark after-sex juggling, did you just, oh, I don't know, have sex?

Kii: Yep!  ^_^  Speaking of which, you might wanna bleach the crap out of that shower.

Oh, ew...


Orenji: Ewwww, this shower stinks!

Kii: See?

Orenji, you pot-bellied pig!  Get some exercise!

Orenji: Neverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!


How was your first bus ride, Strawberry? 

Strawberry: WTF!  She took my underwear!

Yeah, she'll do that.

Brittany: *giggle*


Kii: Well, whose birthday is it this time?  It kind of seems like we've been having a lot of 'em lately...

It's Akai and Scarlet's.  Now, I know that this may make you feel kind of old, but let me assure you---

Kii: Haha!  Now they have to get old too!


Chris: Wow, isn't it crazy that our little babies are growing up today?  I kinda make me feel old...

Orenji: Nonsense!  You look as young as the day I married you!  Now c'mere!  *mauls*

Chris: Oh, Orenji... <3  Wait, what did I just touch?

Orenji: Shit, forgot to put the girdle on.

Chris: What the hell?!  Are these rolls?!

Orenji: Uhh...

Chris: How did this happen?!  As of tomorrow you're going to be exercising your ass off, mister!

Orenji: Awww....

Haha, you got caught!  XD

Orenji: Shut up.  =[


Well, time to say goodbye to these cuties!  Bye, kid Scarlet!


Bye, kid Akai!


Dayum!  Even in cornrows she's still super pretty!  =O

Scarlet: Yessssssss!  Jackpot!

Akai:
How am I?  How am I?


Even though he's in cornrows too, he's--- OH MY GOD.  D=

Akai: That bad, huh?  DX

...Maybe things will look a bit better after some makeovers.


Gyahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, gorgeous!!!!!!!  That'll definitely help her out, seeing as how she rolled Romance.  (Oh, and since I was an idiot and forgot to save Lifetime Aspiration points, these two won't be having secondary aspirations.  The rest of the kids will have them, though.)  Anyway, here are her stats!

Romance
Become Professional Party Guest
3 Neat
2 Outgoing
10 Active
4 Playful
10 Nice
Red Hair, Creative/ Hats


Okay, so he's actually not bad, but he doesn't have an upper lip and that kind of bugs me.  >=[  I'm kind of tempted to give him some plastic surgery, but I'd kind of feel like I'd be cheating or something.  What do you guys think?  But first, here are his stats:

Family
Raise 20 Puppies or Kittens
3 Neat
10 Outgoing
4 Active
2 Playful
6 Nice
Jewelry, Red Hair/ Cologne

Oh yeah, and since I finally got the Simblender, I can roll orientations now!  These guys are both straight.

Well, I'll see you guys next update!  This post was actually going to be a bit longer, but I figured that since a lot of the captions were super-long this time it'd be better to save the rest of the pictures for 3.3.  Also, as you probably know, with the recent LJ errors I had to entirely rewrite this update, so in order to do that faster I omitted some of the weaker and less funny parts.  But crazily enough almost everything else is word-for-word the same as the first time I wrote it, so I'd say that's a pretty even trade, lol!

Anyway, I'll see you guys with the spares again next time!


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Yes, I FINALLY did! Phew! I'm so glad that didn't take me as long as I thought it would...

Aww, thanks! =D lol I don't think they'd be nearly as fun for me if I didn't take a crapload of pictures, though...I once tried to do a legacy without posting it, and I ended up being bored as crap by the time the third generation came around so I deleted them. DX

Thanks for reading! ;]

Your household seem to do everything possible to be insaneeee. I'm sure they do it on purpose.

OMG though, fat Orenji was NOT good. Or fat Kii. Fat sim men look really bizarre haha.

Glad you finally got this up though woo!!

I know, right? XD Whenever I'm not taking pictures of them they're acting perfectly normal, then once the camera goes off, BAM! all hell breaks loose!

They really do!!! DX I know it's kind of unfair, but when the girls put on weight it evenly distributes throughout their bodies. When the guys do it just looks like they're pregnant.

Yay, me too!!!

Thanks for reading! =]

Dear god, what where your sims doing there in the beginning? Were they just standing there staring at you? That would creep me out so much! O__O

OMG, Kii’s turned out to be such a creep! Did he take lessons from Brittany? D8

Branda just had THE idea! I wish *my* neighbours had a hot spring so I could go use it invited, too.

> Brittany: Oh, he's, um, in detention right now. He won't be back for a couple of days...or months.

Hahaha XD

Freetime is lots of fun, isn’t it? =D

OMFG, I LOVE Peter!! He’s so very adorable and totally rocks the nerdy surfer look! X3

…Kii looked like he stuffed a pillow under his sweater for a sympathy pregnancy with Chris… oO

Hehehehe, I snickered so much about Brenda’s nightly habits XD

…I’m still rooting for Placenta :p

You know what I really like about your sims? There are so many with glasses!! =D

Oh my, the kids seem a whole handful…as I’m working in a primary school I can relate to Kii ^^

With a little more lip Akai’d actually be a cute little looker :)

…you can roll orientation with the simblender??? O__O Why didn’t I know that before? Gotta do that, too X3

You know how whenever you install a new expansion pack the sims in a household just drop everything they're doing and stand there when you play with them again? That's what was happening there, lol! XD I'd left off with them last time when Orenji and Chris had just finished doing the nasty with Kii watching, so when I loaded their lot they were just staring at me like that!

He totally has!!! DX Right after he finished watching Orenji and Chris together, he rolled the want to woohoo with Kathleen! UGH!

OMG, I love Freetime soooooo much!!!! =D It justs adds a whole new dimension to the game, y'know? But maybe that's just me since I currently think hobbies are the coolest things ever. XD

I love him too~! I don't usually use Maxis outfits, but I totally thought that one fit Peter PERFECTLY!

I thought Kii was looking a bit ACTUAL pregnant, myself... =3

You know that that's exactly what Brenda is doing in here spare time, running around the dorms with no pants on!!!

I'm still kicking myself for chickening out of naming a baby that, but hey! At least I can torture Strawberry for the rest of his life by mercilessly calling him that! Placenta has a better ring to it than Strawberry, anyway. ;]

Ahaha, there really are!!! I try my best to limit myself to using glasses on only two kids per generation, but it's so hard! I just wanna slap 'em on everybody!

Yeah, I totally agree with you about Akai...he's actually a pretty great mix of his parents and everything! Still though, that lip just gets on my nerves...

Well, the option isn't entirely obvious; it's hidden inside the "traits" menu in the pie chart. I'm wondering if there's any way to adjust the odds, though; every single time I've used it so far everybody's rolled straight. >=\

Thanks so much for reading~! <3

Oh yeah, may be...I only installed EPs 2 times so far (curse you, stupid slow machine!)

I'm still rather excited about Freetime myself - though I really crave for Seasons... (and a better graphic card XD) *sigh*

*snicker* (was just imagining my professors from university walking around with no pants on...eew...but also...snickersnickersnicker XD)

I likke Strawberry, too...perhaps to me it has another ring as it's a foreign language for me...and "Strawberry" sound so much better than "Erdbeere" ;)

Oh noes, I do like the bi and gay tendencies my game has (well, my experience is it's about what I make them do/with whom I have them flirt) - but since about 2 out of 3 births are boys in my game it needs all those gay boys or they'd bomb themselves away in the fight over the few girls running around...

Kii: Oh my god, I just realized! I LOVE unclogging poopy toilets!

LOLLLLL. Oh Kii, never change! He sure got a massive beer gut, though. O_O

Oh my god, I LOVE all of these children. Scarlet and Strawberry are my faves right now! Peter, Jennifer, and Jasper are awesome-looking too! Are you thinking about sending the cousins to college with the other kids?

Kii: Well, you know what they say! When things start sucking, just set 'em on fire!

Kii is super quotable in this update. :D He's such a weirdo. I want him to be around forever!

Seriously, only HE would be able to find his lifelong passion while unclogging toilets. -_- lol And yeah, Kii's stomach was GROSS!!!!!!!!! DX I don't know if they're bigger on elders or if the shirt he was wearing just didn't flatter him, but that beer belly seemed even bigger than Orenji's!

I'm so having fun playing all the kids together right now! XD Since last generation pretty much none of the kids were, well...kids at the same time, it feels like such a new thing to me! Scarlet and Strawberry are my favorites, too. ;] I guess we'll see if they still pick on each other as much when they're teenagers!

I actually am planning to send the cousins to college! =D They'll make for some nice cameos and ~family bonding time~! I'll probably end up sticking Fanta's kids (as well as Genesis' bastard child) in one household, Sunset and Apricot's in the other, and then never play them again for the rest of my life unless I'm up for some Niji inbreeding in the future!

Ahaha, thanks! XD It seems to me like Kii's done a lot more weird shit since he got older... I am gonna be soooo sad when he goes! =[ Even though he was permaplat when he aged up his life bar is already about halfway through the elder stage. DX

And thanks a bunch for reading! ;D

Attack of the puns! (And creepy NPCs and evil maid. XD)

Scarlet is pretty! Hopefully her jawline will fill out later on o she won't have a pointy chin of DOOM. :P

Hmmm, somehow I feel like the puns are more dangerous than the stalkers and molesters and murderers in my game! XD

I hope so too! I just love how her chin looks right now, so hopefully it stays in the right proportion to her face, that way she won't turn into Jay Leno or something. lol

Thanks for reading! =3

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